Antsy

This was written last night when the insomnia and distractions almost got me.  But they did not.  Somehow, the act of writing was almost as numbing as reading Campbell at bed time.   I was literally too sleepy to post:

I have about forty two things on the back burner of my brain.  Even though they are all things that can wait, I want to just hurry up and go.  I am not really a patient person.  As soon as I get an idea in my head, it becomes either an obsessive need or it is something I fret over.

This moment right now should be about losing my self in sleep.  Instead I hear Jack's cousin's hounds down by the water.  I am sure they are after a coon and I am sure they think it is fun.  I am not having  as much fun as they are.  The geese have been stirred up and sound like they are going take the roof with them as they fly over.  So I am awake and I list.

I know a lot of list makers.  I am sure it is a control thing for me.  Yep, I am super organized, but better, it gives me a semblance of control over the circus life we live.

So this list.  The haircut I need to get from Misti.  The fall pic we need to do for the family Christmas card.  Jack wants the cards out early so people have our new address.  The perfect trick for my challenging hour - the fix from last week has already worn off.  It may just be that I have to get beyond bitchy and there be no room for any sort of fun.  Insurance.  What to do with Nora the cat.  Find a tree to plant in front.  Christmas shopping.

And before I know it, the list has taken on a life of its own and I am frantic about things that do not matter tonight.  So the dogs will bark.  They always get quiet eventually.  I have not harmed the owner of said dogs.  Yet.