Gray Days

Fair warning - this is not a nice entry.  It is awful.

Monday came and Jack was doing a little better.  He still couldn't feel his leg, but could actually move his toes.  However, on the off chance that he didn't keep improving, I got him in to see our doctor before she was off on vacation.  He came home with orders to get an MRI on Thursday, though since he can't lay flat, I am not sure how that will work.  He was able to walk a little better - gone was the Fred Sanford lurch and I was hopeful he would be back at work in a few days.

And then everything fell apart.  Monday evening, I got in the car to go check on my in-laws.  I usually walk, but I had some things that I had picked up at the store for Rubilee.  As I inched down the driveway watching for the dog, I felt a bump and heard a yelp.  Avery had dashed between my front and back tire and I got her.  I jumped out to see how bad it was, hoping for a boken paw and hoping to not have to get the pistol.  I could hear her yelping and when I rounded the back of the car, she lunged for me, latching on to my leg.  Once I got free I sprinted to the house for help.  She was too in pain and scared for me to examine.  Jack went down and decided that she might be fixable but thought that I first had to have stitches so we went to the ER.  I will skip the details at the ER, but by 1 AM, I had several stitches in my calf and we had moved Avery to the house and fairly comfortable.

Yesterday, we got Ave to the vet.  We were hopeful that it would be damage that we could realistically fix, but also knew that we would likely have to put her down.  X Rays revealed too much bad news and we had to say goodbye.  Too make matters worse, since she only got her shots a month ago, she will have to be tested for Rabies.

I know Ave was supposed to be Bell's dog, but we all were attached.  She was sweet about spreading her cuddle time out with all of us.  She might have been was sweetest, most playful dog I have ever had.  Obviously, I feel a tremendous amount of guilt.

Today finds us broken hearted.  Helping me with Ave and taking me to the ER meant he was on his feet too much, and   Jack undid the progress he had made with his leg.  He spent yeaterdy in pain thanks to me.   I am limping around with orders to not work out for a few weeks or be up too much to keep this cut from proofing out and not healing nicely.  This spells disaster for my fitting in a dress at Tuck's wedding.  In spite of the stitches, there is still bleeding and I can't get comfortable to sleep much.

I know there will be other puppies.  I know my leg will heal and so will Jack's.  I am thankful for the rain - it meant I didn't have to drag the hose around for an hour this morning, but rain is also just  soothing to my soul.  Despite the rain, I still feel a bit gray inside.