Whirl

My life is this weird series of being a single parent weeks divided by learning to be a wife again weeks.  So far it has gone fairly smoothly, perhaps because I remember how hard it was when we did this before.    On and off for our first three years, Jack worked in Guthrie during the week and came home on weekends.  I purely hated it.  We weren't very good at being married yet - I remember thinking that marrying Jack was such a disservice to him, that we surely had to find our footing soon lest we end up miserable.  When he was away, I did my own thing, cooked as I pleased, watched what I wanted.  And when he came home, it was hard to switch into being a partner.  I know I feared him leaving for Guthrie angry so I tiptoed around anything that might displease him.  I loved him doing those rooms in Guthrie, but looking back, it wasn't a good way to begin a life.

This time around, we seem to be on more even ground.  Maybe we learned each other enough that I am confident in us, but when he is home, we slide right back into real life fairly well.  We miss him when he is gone, but I am too busy to fuss.  

I desperately needed fall break and wish I weren't already sucked back into the merry-go-round whirl that is school and home.  So far, as long as I can make it a week, Jack comes home again and I get to share, both the joys and the stress.  He thinks November will be a long month of him being mostly gone - I am already telling myself, "two months until Christmas Break," and then I realize it is only two months until Christmas.  Talk about whirl.

There are plenty of bright spots - and there is plenty of stress.  This is what I read in your blogs, reading that you are trying to find that balance, that way through.  It is supposed to lovely here the next few days - if you can, stop and breathe. Look around and breathe some more.  The whirl will still be there, but draw on those who help you, draw on that strength within.