I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately

Whenever Jack leaves for the week, there is an out of joint feeling in the house.  The balance is off as we adjust to the house being a third quieter, a third less funny, sweet and witty, a third less everything.  I wouldn't say melancholy, though last time Bell did have a full blown melt down at bed time.

Today when he left, the air was balmy, almost spring like, even though things are turning rapidly from red and gold to dusty browns.  Too nice of a day to spend inside moping in front of the TV, too nice to let Bell waste knowing that cold days are around the corner.

Last week Bell and I went to the woods for an armload of grapevine and Jack Dear showed me how to make wreaths.  Today, in our rubber boots (stickers don't stick into them like tennis shoes), we girls trooped down the hill and across the lake dam to the woods beyond in search of everything from grasses to leaves to dried berries for wreath decorating.  Bell divided her time in wading in the edge of the water, managing not to get in deeper than her boots until the end, and in being my eagle eye spotting the best leaves and acorns.  We explored the old fish camp, spied on turtles, watched fish jumping, all while trying not to spook the ducks hanging out in the north neck of the lake.

All the while, Thoreau kept whispering in my head.  My kids always scoff a bit when I teach him.  They are unconvinced, they do not relate to a "barbaric yawp."  As I pulled down fat clusters of berries from a green briar, I felt like this was living, this enjoying of the day with my blond fearless leader, not just watching the lake from the house, but being down here in the sun and the water and the woods.

I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close.

Perhaps the problem is the my kids don't go out and just look and listen.    I know have hunters in class, but do they ever go into nature to just be, without needing to kill something?  I know they go to lakes, but are they ever peaceful, or just partying?

Whether my kids ever get it or not, days like today are good for my soul.  We managed to stay out for at least 2 hours, stopping on the way home at Grandma's for a snack and a visit.  As much as I loved being in the woods, what I needed the most was time with Bell.  There were no spelling words, no hustling off to soccer practice, no fussing about chores.  Just us.  No hash words or whining.  Just the sound of the fish splashing, the birds calling, and the wind in the trees.