Farewell

Yesterday, I sat in Davis Hall  soaking in this farewell that Misti orchestrated, wishing with part of me that we could all go back 12 years so I could hear that deep gravely voice make one more pithy comment, thankful with the rest of me that I even was part of this group of people.

I had been at USAO for a whole two days before I met John Morgan through the writing lab where I was hired as a tutor.  In time,  I ended up in classes with him and eventually Misti, Jack, Amy, Chris, Christy . .   I never took a class with Kirk, but by the time my junior year rolled around, I had been drawn into the group. I was an English major, not one of the chosen of the Davis Hall Little Theater, but they so graciously allowed me in their circle, even pulling me out of my comfort zone to tech that semester.  To get to help with Twilight of the Golds was being invited to hang out with the cool kids.

I am an incredibly shy and  somewhat introverted person - teching  was far beyond my comfort zone, but John talked me into it.  He didn't make a big deal of it, no cajoling or flattering.  He just said that they could use my help.  When I hesitated, he just said, "You should - you'd be good at it and it it would be good for you."  That was it and the conversation shifted, but his calm assurance was a good push.

I really needed to jump into the great unknown at the time - I had been there a year and had been soaking up all of this "think for your self" and "follow your bliss" dogma, but I was still not living my life yet.  I think that one step out of my known English department zone allowed the old facade to crack open enough to let me out and the world in.  I needed to spend time laughing and thinking and needed to quit being so uptight.  I needed to figure out what I really wanted.  It didn't happen over night - it is still happening - but doing something new was reinventing part of myself,  giving my self permission to be someone a little different than I thought I had to be.  I found out that I liked it.  I will fully admit that I still made some stupid choices, but I think that semester was the beginning of the me we know now, and I know it was influenced by the people I was with.

I have no fabulously funny stories of John, but I have this.  The few years I got to be around him, he spread his goofy humor around when it was needed and gave sound advice from the heart sometimes when I didn't want to hear it.  When he gave advice, it was short and never dramatic.  Just quiet.  But that voice stuck in one's head.  He was kind and irreverent and wickedly smart.  He told dirty stories and then made me question what I believed all in one conversation.  He was wise and kind and I can't imagine not liking him - I am simply thankful to have known him.  John Morgan, thank you for befriending me, thank you for making a too serious girl laugh.