Sync

When Jack came home last week, we started off the week out of sync.  Partly my fault, partly his.  Neither of us gave what the other needed.  He needed peace and I needed back up in dealing with Bell.  We ended up meeting in the middle later on, but not until the tone was set and it seemed impossible to unset it. 

I hate that.  I hate the way five bad minutes can color the next six days.  Don't misunderstand me, A lot of good happened in the week and a lot of stress happened in the week, particularly stress for Jack. 

On the plus side, with Jack's help, I got the last of the apricots down, processed and put in the freezer.  I got a five gallon bucket of plums processed (frozen for now, but will be jam eventually).  We got some work done on the blackberry patch.  And as Bell said, it was the week of household upgrades.  The microwave died which led to going to the the store and fitting not only a microwave, but also four bags of mulch, six window blinds, and a new grill into the subaru.  Later in the week, new towels were also on the list as well as a blender that actually blends.  Jack got the debri from the flood cleaned up around the lake and hauled off three trailers of junk and trash.  I reorganized and threw away a fourth of the hall closet's contents.  Jack got to go swim with Bell.  He tinkered with the air conditioner and it is cooling better. 

On the bad side, there were more ER trips and doctor visits for Jack's parents. There was stress over poor communication with each and between his parents and amongst all of us.  There were plans that were changed and changed and changed again.  There were conversations about work schedules that were not exactly positive.   We didn't fight or argue - we just were off. 

Normally, when Jack leaves for a week, I am not thrilled, but I stay busy and the week is gone fairly quickly.  Today, I just feel melancholy.  Bell and I did very well as a pair - she worked out with me, we had pancakes with blueberries and blackberries I picked this morning.  We just generally have gotten along better today than I can remember in a long time, so I shouldn't feel melancholy at all.  And part of me is not - part of me is thrilled and has reveled in the perfect connection with Bell.  But the rest of me would gladly return the new appliances and towels just for a week of meshing with Jack.   Six days and I can try again.