Treading Water

I haven't written much because there has not been much to write.   It is this holding pattern of waiting.

We seem to be caught in this wave of "wait until payday" but it was to be expected.  With the job change, I entirely missed the August pay cycle at the old school and the new school.  Factor in job changes for Jack too, and it has been a slim month with a few more slim weeks to go.

I have been in a funk about my hand too.  A lot of you know that I have had some issues that seem to be carpal tunnel in my right arm.  Mostly it is an annoyance because my hand and arm are asleep most of the time, making awkward what should be simple tasks. Awkward. Typing, drinking coffee, and all those normal things.  Really the worst is at night because it keeps me awake.  Now, I have this brace that I have worn since July and it helps some, but it does not get rid of the issue.   Last week I had my doctor shoot my wrist full of steroids (Jack was not invited to watch); but the numbness came back immediately.  I am in this limbo now waiting to see how much of the injections the insurance pays for before I move on to seeing a surgeon.  Part of me wants to go ahead and take care of the wrist this fall.  The other part of me says wait until January so I have a full year to enjoy having met my deductible.  If I wait, I get a whole year of  cheap chiropractor visits, which is nothing to scoff at.

Work is work.  I still haven't had the promised and dreaded evaluation but that is just because we are such a big school that I haven't had a turn before the firing squad yet.  I do not have more than the current units planned out, but I absolutely need to map out the whole year with this curriculum.  This kills me.  The past several years I started the year with detailed lesson plans for the whole year plus contingency plans in case we didn't get as far as I wanted.   I remember that when I went on maternity  leave I even had every paper copied for the next 9 weeks.  This flying by the seat of my pants is not natural for me.

In the midst of it all, Jack's brother is supposed to be up at the big house for  the weekend.  There was fundraiser stuff for Bell this week.  Girl Scout deadlines are upon us.  Next week there is a homecoming float to build.  Jack has traveling coming up off and on all fall.  My pumpkins are booming like crazy, but little pumpkins are few and far between.  To top it off, today I found out that for a state required background check, I have to be finger printed . . . only after 6 pm . . . without a tag along child . . . at the Lawton PD.  This was not my agenda for the week.



Okay.  I have whined and vented and whined some more and that is quite enough.  Despite uncertainties and my lack of preparedness, we are fine.  We are mostly healthy.  The bills are paid.  We all still love each other.  Really, if I would drag myself out of bed earlier to work out, I would probably be calmer and less stressed.

I sat in church Sunday watching a woman whose small child had drowned.  Another person battled cancer.  The couple who longed for children.  I somehow think I am pretty okay.  I am blessed and just need to remember it.  I might actually be supposed to be getting better at waiting.