The Old and the New

This morning I woke up to rain.  I cannot think when in the last few years I have not been happy to hear rain except perhaps when I was driving. I know that it makes everything sloppy and squelchy, but I  started fretting about rain and lack of it a few years ago.  Maybe this is a good way to end the year;  I would like to think it is an omen of more coming rains in this new year.

There are so many things I want to see us put behind us, not just drought of the land. When I look at my immediate family, my wider family, and our family of friends, I think we must be an enduring lot, for the past year has not been an easy one.

For me and mine, we have struggled with finding new jobs.  I know Jack is unspeakably frustrated on that front.  I found a job, but it has been a rough transition.  The kind of rough when I come home having somehow having rubbed my make up off when I buried my face in my hands again.  The kind of rough that keeps me always on edge and never really relaxing.  I have watched my parents struggle with job issues as my dad escaped his job in Saudi Arabia, but ended up still working away during the week.  I know my mom is so tired of only having him around on the weekend.

The Wilsons and Ruckers have dealt with countless stomach bugs, trouble with bones and joints, major surgeries, heart break, marriages failing, death, livestock problems . . . The list just goes on and on.  My mother can either be able to walk or take the medicine that keeps her cholesterol in check, but not both. My grandparents and Jack's parents (who are all 80ish) are always dealing with the frailties of age and life has become tenuous.  It just seems to be a battle of small things that wear us down.

I know that this hard year has been unspeakably hard for my family of friends.  We watched from afar as Cindy and Chris battled cancer and had to hope that she was strengthened by the love from her vast circle of friends and family.  I have worried so much for her this year, even though I know she is strong and had the help of those closer.  And then Hooper, that has been one more weight.

I look at the rest of the circle and see friends who have have lost parents this year.  There were house fires.  Apartments that didn't happen.  School that seems never ending.  I see friends who work so hard. Who juggle stolen phones and house repairs.  Who learn new things like buying cars.  Who write plays and make quilts.  Who manage more stress  than I can fathom.

It has just been a hard year.  A year of loss, of struggle, a year of enduring.  I do see some bright spots though.  Just the fact that Talaura is still pursuing her dream.  Misti is almost there.  I see some love blooming in her life.  Cindy writes of things of beauty.  She finds some joy in her little house and garden.  She ventures more than I ever could.  I see new relationships forming for my brother.  I see my child overcoming some hurdles.  I see reason to hope.

So in this last post of the year, I pray this for us, all of us who read and post here.   May this year be a year of renewal.  Let us be given new purpose, new strength, and new grace. May we be kinder to ourselves and to each other.  Let us have what we need, what we truly need.  Homes.  Jobs.  Loves.  Health.  I ask for blessings to rain down on us, soaking into our lives.