I just realized I have not posted anything here in almost two weeks. I have been out of sorts. My body has gone strike and is refusing to remotely behave and that just makes me feel blah. I am going to have some blood work done next week to see about it all.
In the past week and a half, Jack Dear did indeed come home and afte 5 days of working on it, did get our water well going again. About the time we came home, he went back to Alva. Staying at Jack 's parents for a whole was week was a weird mix of stress and luxury. I fretted about Bell getting on their nerves and about our water woes. I fretted about a lost debit card (issue now resolved). I just fretted not being at home. It was also the week of making semester tests and trying to cajole and plead and threaten my few problem children into passing my class by just turning something in. It was luxury to have a washer and dryer inside the house but not in the kitchen that was big with more counter space than I used. The magic tub. The fireplace.
I just feel like I have been going through the motions for two weeks. There were some fabulous moments with my family and at girls night, but mostly I have been disconnected. My mind whirls with ideas and questions and frustrations, but each day felt unplugged.
Today was better and it was all due to the last three minutes of the drive to work. Two months ago, a staff member mentioned that a particular kid always looked guilty, shifty eyed as if he was up to something. I didn't know the kid other than by sight, but I had certainly never seen him do anything bad or rude, but hey, what did I know? Maybe that staff member had some insight that I didn't have. Today, the young man was walking his little brother and sister to school. When I drove past them, the boy was hanging on tight to his little brother's hand. The younger child looked 5 or 6 and was just little enough to still not watch for cars. The little boy's steps were smaller and the older boy shortened his steps to match. When they got to the parking lot, he didn't go his own way or drop the smaller child's hand. I could the little boy chattering and the bigger brother nod his head, listening. I don't know this boy or who he is, but it so warmed my heart to see a big high school kid being that sensitive to what was probably a pesky sibling. I caught the young man later this morning walking down the hall. I asked if he always walked his brother and sister to school. He nodded, not sure where I was going with the question. I patted him on the shoulder and simply said "you are a good big brother" to which his face lit up and he nodded a quick appreciation. I asked around and found out that other teachers said he is a really nice kid. Maybe he will be in my class next year.
Something about that moment of little boy and big boy together made me teary eyed and thankful that I get to be with these kids, get to know them, maybe learn a little while I teach a little. It more than made up for the day before when I was this close to yelling at a kid, this close to telling a kid he was wasting my time and the oxygen in the room, for actually saying "If you want to fail my class this badly, go ahead because I can't make you pass and I am finished trying." The boy walking to school didn't particularly look like he was having fun, but he looked like he was patiently doing something he knew must be done. That patience and gentleness and goodness emanating from him was such an example to me.
I finished the day with a learning disability student making the highest grade on the final. It was so nice to be able to say this kid who struggles so much, who often doesn't get it the first or even second time, "man, you did a fabulous job." What it also says is that my other kids didn't study enough., which is a different rant. If anyone deserved to have the highest grade, it was this boy who studied the most and tried his hardest. I like that work sometimes pays off more than just sheer smarts. I like to be able to send home an email bragging on a kid who doesn't get bragged on much.
Friday is the last day before break. I have a smidge of stocking shopping left to do. Family time coming up. Jack will be home next week. I am ready for a break, but I am really thankful for this day.
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