Optimism

Last year began with a grim sort of trudging.  Jack had the flu and was jobless.  I hadn't yet become good friends with people at school.  Harold was in the hospital.  Just grim.

There have certainly been some dark moments this year.  There were lots of nights when I lay awake praying that God would sort our mess out, that he would heal Jack's back or give us wisdom with Bell or . . . It is a never ending list, a very similar list to what you probably face.  Of course there was the two months when Jack was hurt and couldn't move beyond the recliner, couldn't work, couldn't even lie down.  There was the incident with the dog and my leg and the stitches.  I know there have been moments when I lost my temper with Jack and he has lost his temper with me.

But somehow this year we hit a stride that worked. Some of that rhythm and peace has to do with knowing we are where we should be.  Some of it has to do with me learning to be content instead of  always wanting more - a bigger kitchen and bath would be nice, but I am not living in a tent like my mom did for 2 years.   I am incredibly thankful that Jack has a job that he mostly likes and a boss who didn't lay him off during his injured time.  I am incredibly thankful that I have friends.  It makes such a difference.

No, it is not perfect bliss, but it is real life, with real joy to go with real problems.

This is Jack's week to be gone and Bell was gloomy about him being gone on New Year's Eve, so I took her to see a movie and out to lunch yesterday.  Then our friends in Fletcher invited us over for games and snacks for NYE.  It was low key, but Bell loves to play with their son and I have come to count Suzanne as a serious blessing in my friend list.  The evening was a reminder of that blessing.

This morning I woke with a sinus headache, but there is hot coffee and a not too messy house and sunshine.  I am tired from staying up too late, but I am optimistic that this will be a good year.  I don't know what it will bring - we have some major car issues and house issues to deal with.  Jack still walks with a limp.  I will be back in the grind of teaching in a few days.  I have a feeling we are on the cusp of some major change in the way we live, though that change could still be years away.  I know as much as I love teaching this AP class, I feel a draw to homeschool and I still desperately want the farm thing to happen.  I also think that when one of Jack's parents dies, we will have to move into the big house with the other one.  With their age and health, that could, be tomorrow or in ten years.  Lots of uncertainty.  Yet, I am still optimistic that this year will bring good things.  I hope it brings good things for all of you.