I have been quiet here for a few weeks. What can I say, but that I lead a boring life? School with its endless 2nd grade spelling tests and high school essays has consumed us once again. When I am checking math facts or doing all the crazy things we do for spelling, I have been worrying a few bones of my own.
I really feel that Bell needs a different speech therapist at school, but my attempts at getting her switched have hit a wall. Apparently the other therapist only sees older students. Never mind that the current therapist isn't helping. There is a center in Lawton that does free therapy and I have called at least twice a week for the past two weeks. I leave messages. No one calls back. I suppose that means the door is shut. There are other clinics, but they cost a fortune. When Bell was little, we spent almost a thousand a month on therapy for the first while. I imagine we wouldn't go as often now, but it would still be a hundred a week. I don't know where that money would come from. In the mean time, I wonder if I could deal with this at home if I just knew a little more about how to help her. We do some practice at home, but I am limited in knowing technique. Not pursuing this doesn't feel like an option. People don't get to be president if they can't say their R's. Bell doesn't yet know what she wants (she says the first job will be to build a machine to dig to the center of the earth to confirm what the core consists of, but then she will think about going to space), but I don't want language to be a barrier for whatever she pursues. Next year, Bell will be old enough to see the other therapist, but will be it be in time?
Besides the dreaded R, I have spent a lot of time thinking about love and marriage. Two weeks ago, I found out that an old friend was getting a divorce and then last week, I found out that someone near and dear was also divorcing, leaving some wreckage that will have a pretty serious impact on my family. On the other end of the spectrum, Cindy has found someone to share her life with, someone she has committed to. This love she has found makes my heart sing.
I am reminded how wonderful and exciting love is, but how fragile it becomes if we don't nurture it. At my brother's wedding in the fall, Reggie, the preacher, talked about how if a marriage was going to work, people had to choose to walk in love every day. If they weren't actively and consciously putting on love and fruits of the spirit, they would begin walking in selfishness, pursuing their own desires, choosing impatience . . . And eventually the couple would say "we just aren't in love any more." Jack and I don't have the perfect marriage, and there were times early on when I thought I had probably ruined his life by marrying him. However, we continue to practice walking in love, in putting each other and the idea of us above selfish desires. We get better at this every year, and as we get better at it, it turns out that putting the needs of each other first is self serving. If I am seeking what is best for him and he is seeking what is best for me, then we are making sure that each other's needs are met. There is no need to be selfish. An old friend once told me that divorce is inevitable for all couples and that when things stopped being fun, you just move on. I think that might have been the point when our friendship started to fizzle. I just can't be that casual about what I see as commitment. I have spent a lot of time looking around me the past two weeks - I see a lot of joyful marriages and I see rubble where marriages that once were joyful have been cast aside. I am so very happy for Cindy, but I am also sober, sad for the endings I also see.
Thursday, of my female students told one of the boys that he was a fool for not dating lots of girls and shopping around. She suggested that he wouldn't know whether or not a better girl was out there unless he did. He didn't say much, angered a little. I rarely jump into my kids' conversations, but I did that day. I said the idea that someone else better was always out there contributed to people's dissatisfaction with their spouses later on, that this dating and dumping frenzy, rather than waiting and really getting to know someone and then committing if it was right, was practice for divorce later on. The girl scoffed and said no one ever married their first love and stayed with them and were stupid if they did, staying only out of ignorance. I asked if she was calling my family stupid. That ended the conversation.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Friday, January 3, 2014
The Case of the Missing Eyebrow
When Bella was 3 she went through a self haircut phase. She found scissors I didn't even know we had, hid behind the recliner, and worked in her pony tails. It was never so bad that we had to visit a salon and the phase was pretty short-lived, but it was one of Bell's many "DIY" projects. There was the lotion phase that involved her sneaking in the bathroom and opening a box of 12 different Bath and Body scented lotions and applying them all to the point of being slick. It takes multiple baths to get a kid non-greasy after such an event, the tub has to be scrubbed afterwards, and your kid still smells odd.
Yesterday, I discovered a new oddity. I was helping Bell rinse her hair after she washed it and noticed that one eyebrow looked odd. I though it was just mussed up from when I dumped water over her head. In fact, half her right eyebrow is mostly gone. There is a thin line at the bottom and a few stray hairs at the top and one half is there, but the most of the other half is just gone, leaving a strip of very white skin beneath. I wasn't mad - just amused and curious. I badgered her off and on all day - had she played in tape, with my razor, borrowed my tweezers? She adamantly refused to tell, maintaining that she did nothing and had no idea how it happened. Finally, I asked her if she would tell Jack. She said, "Yeah, I will tell dad next time we go camping because we always tell secrets when we camp." Ahah! I pointed out that she had just admitted to having done something, but she just grinned and walked off to get ready for bed.
I slept terribly last night - my school dreams have returned and my old hip bursitis kept me up most of the night, but I am up and ready for the last Friday of freedom. I plan to work on a project for my parents' birthday (or anniversary at the rate I am going). I need to get those work out DVDs going. And maybe I will sweet talk Bella out if her secret. I just hope her eyebrow grows back because she is funny looking right now.
Yesterday, I discovered a new oddity. I was helping Bell rinse her hair after she washed it and noticed that one eyebrow looked odd. I though it was just mussed up from when I dumped water over her head. In fact, half her right eyebrow is mostly gone. There is a thin line at the bottom and a few stray hairs at the top and one half is there, but the most of the other half is just gone, leaving a strip of very white skin beneath. I wasn't mad - just amused and curious. I badgered her off and on all day - had she played in tape, with my razor, borrowed my tweezers? She adamantly refused to tell, maintaining that she did nothing and had no idea how it happened. Finally, I asked her if she would tell Jack. She said, "Yeah, I will tell dad next time we go camping because we always tell secrets when we camp." Ahah! I pointed out that she had just admitted to having done something, but she just grinned and walked off to get ready for bed.
I slept terribly last night - my school dreams have returned and my old hip bursitis kept me up most of the night, but I am up and ready for the last Friday of freedom. I plan to work on a project for my parents' birthday (or anniversary at the rate I am going). I need to get those work out DVDs going. And maybe I will sweet talk Bella out if her secret. I just hope her eyebrow grows back because she is funny looking right now.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
New Year, new Semester
Yesterday I had an email from an old friend. He sends one email a year, letting me know he is still alive, and I always send one back. It is the typical update on life email. In my reply, I commented that though life wasn't perfect (whose is?), I was content with the way things were. He said that I should never be content, that it was against human nature.
I think this is both a great and terrible idea. I know I should never be content with how I teach or my walk with the Lord or any number of things. But I don't think he understood that when I said I was content, I meant I was at peace with a lot of things. I am at peace living in this weird little house next to Rubilee. I am at peace with Jack having to work away from home some. I am at peace with putting my farm dreams on hold for now. That doesn't mean I have found a way to love my falling apart carpet or my miniscule bathroom. It does mean that I am not going to spend excess amount of time and energy fretting that I don't have as big of a house as my friends. We make choices. One of our choices was to live in the country, specifically here to help the in-laws. I suppose if years ago we had chosen to move to a bigger town or Jack or I had chosen to back to college for a more lucrative career, I might have a closet big enough to put a bed in or marble counter tops. But those were not the choices we made. If living life with Jack and Bell on this land means that we live the way we do, then so be it because that choice also means I can sunbathe without neighbors seeing. I can watch the sun come up and go down with no one else disturbing me. I can wake up every day in a marriage with a devoted, passionate man and I can spend every day as a mom of a kid I love. So yes, I am content. I am sure that there will be moments of frustration ( every time I try to scrub the tub and vacuum this carpet), but in this new year, I want to walk in peace and contentment. This is a God thing, not a settling for less thing.
A new year also means a new semester. I am not going to lie and say I can't wait for Monday. School stresses me. During the school year, my stress is measured by how crappy my sleep is. It is measured by how many fever blisters I get. During these 13 days off I have only had 2 bad nights of sleep and both were my own fault. My skin is fairly clear and I haven't felt the need to grit my teeth. My body thinks I am meant to be a housewife and garden girl. My paycheck and education dictate otherwise. So Monday we begin anew. I have a month's worth of lesson plans in place, two weeks of assignments and made and the first week of tests made. I am ready.
In all honesty, I am looking forward to seeing most of my kids again. Most. There might be two or three that I would love to move far, far away. I am eager to finish Gatsby and move into some feminist lit with the AP kids. I am eager to begin writing boot camp with all my juniors. I will be glad to see them, hear their chatter, listen to stories about break, discuss literature with them. Today, I bumped into one of my favorite former students. Jamin was in my class when Bella was born so he is a grown man now, about to graduate from college, full of hopes and promise. As happy as I was to see him, I was tickled when his face lit up when he saw me. Once kids have been in my room, they are mine for life; I have a vested interest in them. But me? Well for many, I am just some lady who wrote on their papers in red ink. It is nice to see those kids I connected with, those kids who got it and cared and enjoyed my class as much as I enjoyed having them in class. I was glad I saw Jamin today, glad for the hug that reminded me that I do love these kids, even if I despise the test pressure and the paper grading and the hoops I jump through to be their teacher.
Anyway, I am planning on striving for being better in the things that I shouldn't settle on, but I am also going to work on walking in peace and contentment in the things that God has given me for my current life in this new year.
I think this is both a great and terrible idea. I know I should never be content with how I teach or my walk with the Lord or any number of things. But I don't think he understood that when I said I was content, I meant I was at peace with a lot of things. I am at peace living in this weird little house next to Rubilee. I am at peace with Jack having to work away from home some. I am at peace with putting my farm dreams on hold for now. That doesn't mean I have found a way to love my falling apart carpet or my miniscule bathroom. It does mean that I am not going to spend excess amount of time and energy fretting that I don't have as big of a house as my friends. We make choices. One of our choices was to live in the country, specifically here to help the in-laws. I suppose if years ago we had chosen to move to a bigger town or Jack or I had chosen to back to college for a more lucrative career, I might have a closet big enough to put a bed in or marble counter tops. But those were not the choices we made. If living life with Jack and Bell on this land means that we live the way we do, then so be it because that choice also means I can sunbathe without neighbors seeing. I can watch the sun come up and go down with no one else disturbing me. I can wake up every day in a marriage with a devoted, passionate man and I can spend every day as a mom of a kid I love. So yes, I am content. I am sure that there will be moments of frustration ( every time I try to scrub the tub and vacuum this carpet), but in this new year, I want to walk in peace and contentment. This is a God thing, not a settling for less thing.
A new year also means a new semester. I am not going to lie and say I can't wait for Monday. School stresses me. During the school year, my stress is measured by how crappy my sleep is. It is measured by how many fever blisters I get. During these 13 days off I have only had 2 bad nights of sleep and both were my own fault. My skin is fairly clear and I haven't felt the need to grit my teeth. My body thinks I am meant to be a housewife and garden girl. My paycheck and education dictate otherwise. So Monday we begin anew. I have a month's worth of lesson plans in place, two weeks of assignments and made and the first week of tests made. I am ready.
In all honesty, I am looking forward to seeing most of my kids again. Most. There might be two or three that I would love to move far, far away. I am eager to finish Gatsby and move into some feminist lit with the AP kids. I am eager to begin writing boot camp with all my juniors. I will be glad to see them, hear their chatter, listen to stories about break, discuss literature with them. Today, I bumped into one of my favorite former students. Jamin was in my class when Bella was born so he is a grown man now, about to graduate from college, full of hopes and promise. As happy as I was to see him, I was tickled when his face lit up when he saw me. Once kids have been in my room, they are mine for life; I have a vested interest in them. But me? Well for many, I am just some lady who wrote on their papers in red ink. It is nice to see those kids I connected with, those kids who got it and cared and enjoyed my class as much as I enjoyed having them in class. I was glad I saw Jamin today, glad for the hug that reminded me that I do love these kids, even if I despise the test pressure and the paper grading and the hoops I jump through to be their teacher.
Anyway, I am planning on striving for being better in the things that I shouldn't settle on, but I am also going to work on walking in peace and contentment in the things that God has given me for my current life in this new year.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Optimism
Last year began with a grim sort of trudging. Jack had the flu and was jobless. I hadn't yet become good friends with people at school. Harold was in the hospital. Just grim.
There have certainly been some dark moments this year. There were lots of nights when I lay awake praying that God would sort our mess out, that he would heal Jack's back or give us wisdom with Bell or . . . It is a never ending list, a very similar list to what you probably face. Of course there was the two months when Jack was hurt and couldn't move beyond the recliner, couldn't work, couldn't even lie down. There was the incident with the dog and my leg and the stitches. I know there have been moments when I lost my temper with Jack and he has lost his temper with me.
But somehow this year we hit a stride that worked. Some of that rhythm and peace has to do with knowing we are where we should be. Some of it has to do with me learning to be content instead of always wanting more - a bigger kitchen and bath would be nice, but I am not living in a tent like my mom did for 2 years. I am incredibly thankful that Jack has a job that he mostly likes and a boss who didn't lay him off during his injured time. I am incredibly thankful that I have friends. It makes such a difference.
No, it is not perfect bliss, but it is real life, with real joy to go with real problems.
This is Jack's week to be gone and Bell was gloomy about him being gone on New Year's Eve, so I took her to see a movie and out to lunch yesterday. Then our friends in Fletcher invited us over for games and snacks for NYE. It was low key, but Bell loves to play with their son and I have come to count Suzanne as a serious blessing in my friend list. The evening was a reminder of that blessing.
This morning I woke with a sinus headache, but there is hot coffee and a not too messy house and sunshine. I am tired from staying up too late, but I am optimistic that this will be a good year. I don't know what it will bring - we have some major car issues and house issues to deal with. Jack still walks with a limp. I will be back in the grind of teaching in a few days. I have a feeling we are on the cusp of some major change in the way we live, though that change could still be years away. I know as much as I love teaching this AP class, I feel a draw to homeschool and I still desperately want the farm thing to happen. I also think that when one of Jack's parents dies, we will have to move into the big house with the other one. With their age and health, that could, be tomorrow or in ten years. Lots of uncertainty. Yet, I am still optimistic that this year will bring good things. I hope it brings good things for all of you.
There have certainly been some dark moments this year. There were lots of nights when I lay awake praying that God would sort our mess out, that he would heal Jack's back or give us wisdom with Bell or . . . It is a never ending list, a very similar list to what you probably face. Of course there was the two months when Jack was hurt and couldn't move beyond the recliner, couldn't work, couldn't even lie down. There was the incident with the dog and my leg and the stitches. I know there have been moments when I lost my temper with Jack and he has lost his temper with me.
But somehow this year we hit a stride that worked. Some of that rhythm and peace has to do with knowing we are where we should be. Some of it has to do with me learning to be content instead of always wanting more - a bigger kitchen and bath would be nice, but I am not living in a tent like my mom did for 2 years. I am incredibly thankful that Jack has a job that he mostly likes and a boss who didn't lay him off during his injured time. I am incredibly thankful that I have friends. It makes such a difference.
No, it is not perfect bliss, but it is real life, with real joy to go with real problems.
This is Jack's week to be gone and Bell was gloomy about him being gone on New Year's Eve, so I took her to see a movie and out to lunch yesterday. Then our friends in Fletcher invited us over for games and snacks for NYE. It was low key, but Bell loves to play with their son and I have come to count Suzanne as a serious blessing in my friend list. The evening was a reminder of that blessing.
This morning I woke with a sinus headache, but there is hot coffee and a not too messy house and sunshine. I am tired from staying up too late, but I am optimistic that this will be a good year. I don't know what it will bring - we have some major car issues and house issues to deal with. Jack still walks with a limp. I will be back in the grind of teaching in a few days. I have a feeling we are on the cusp of some major change in the way we live, though that change could still be years away. I know as much as I love teaching this AP class, I feel a draw to homeschool and I still desperately want the farm thing to happen. I also think that when one of Jack's parents dies, we will have to move into the big house with the other one. With their age and health, that could, be tomorrow or in ten years. Lots of uncertainty. Yet, I am still optimistic that this year will bring good things. I hope it brings good things for all of you.
Friday, December 20, 2013
Seeing the Goodness
I just realized I have not posted anything here in almost two weeks. I have been out of sorts. My body has gone strike and is refusing to remotely behave and that just makes me feel blah. I am going to have some blood work done next week to see about it all.
In the past week and a half, Jack Dear did indeed come home and afte 5 days of working on it, did get our water well going again. About the time we came home, he went back to Alva. Staying at Jack 's parents for a whole was week was a weird mix of stress and luxury. I fretted about Bell getting on their nerves and about our water woes. I fretted about a lost debit card (issue now resolved). I just fretted not being at home. It was also the week of making semester tests and trying to cajole and plead and threaten my few problem children into passing my class by just turning something in. It was luxury to have a washer and dryer inside the house but not in the kitchen that was big with more counter space than I used. The magic tub. The fireplace.
I just feel like I have been going through the motions for two weeks. There were some fabulous moments with my family and at girls night, but mostly I have been disconnected. My mind whirls with ideas and questions and frustrations, but each day felt unplugged.
Today was better and it was all due to the last three minutes of the drive to work. Two months ago, a staff member mentioned that a particular kid always looked guilty, shifty eyed as if he was up to something. I didn't know the kid other than by sight, but I had certainly never seen him do anything bad or rude, but hey, what did I know? Maybe that staff member had some insight that I didn't have. Today, the young man was walking his little brother and sister to school. When I drove past them, the boy was hanging on tight to his little brother's hand. The younger child looked 5 or 6 and was just little enough to still not watch for cars. The little boy's steps were smaller and the older boy shortened his steps to match. When they got to the parking lot, he didn't go his own way or drop the smaller child's hand. I could the little boy chattering and the bigger brother nod his head, listening. I don't know this boy or who he is, but it so warmed my heart to see a big high school kid being that sensitive to what was probably a pesky sibling. I caught the young man later this morning walking down the hall. I asked if he always walked his brother and sister to school. He nodded, not sure where I was going with the question. I patted him on the shoulder and simply said "you are a good big brother" to which his face lit up and he nodded a quick appreciation. I asked around and found out that other teachers said he is a really nice kid. Maybe he will be in my class next year.
Something about that moment of little boy and big boy together made me teary eyed and thankful that I get to be with these kids, get to know them, maybe learn a little while I teach a little. It more than made up for the day before when I was this close to yelling at a kid, this close to telling a kid he was wasting my time and the oxygen in the room, for actually saying "If you want to fail my class this badly, go ahead because I can't make you pass and I am finished trying." The boy walking to school didn't particularly look like he was having fun, but he looked like he was patiently doing something he knew must be done. That patience and gentleness and goodness emanating from him was such an example to me.
I finished the day with a learning disability student making the highest grade on the final. It was so nice to be able to say this kid who struggles so much, who often doesn't get it the first or even second time, "man, you did a fabulous job." What it also says is that my other kids didn't study enough., which is a different rant. If anyone deserved to have the highest grade, it was this boy who studied the most and tried his hardest. I like that work sometimes pays off more than just sheer smarts. I like to be able to send home an email bragging on a kid who doesn't get bragged on much.
Friday is the last day before break. I have a smidge of stocking shopping left to do. Family time coming up. Jack will be home next week. I am ready for a break, but I am really thankful for this day.
In the past week and a half, Jack Dear did indeed come home and afte 5 days of working on it, did get our water well going again. About the time we came home, he went back to Alva. Staying at Jack 's parents for a whole was week was a weird mix of stress and luxury. I fretted about Bell getting on their nerves and about our water woes. I fretted about a lost debit card (issue now resolved). I just fretted not being at home. It was also the week of making semester tests and trying to cajole and plead and threaten my few problem children into passing my class by just turning something in. It was luxury to have a washer and dryer inside the house but not in the kitchen that was big with more counter space than I used. The magic tub. The fireplace.
I just feel like I have been going through the motions for two weeks. There were some fabulous moments with my family and at girls night, but mostly I have been disconnected. My mind whirls with ideas and questions and frustrations, but each day felt unplugged.
Today was better and it was all due to the last three minutes of the drive to work. Two months ago, a staff member mentioned that a particular kid always looked guilty, shifty eyed as if he was up to something. I didn't know the kid other than by sight, but I had certainly never seen him do anything bad or rude, but hey, what did I know? Maybe that staff member had some insight that I didn't have. Today, the young man was walking his little brother and sister to school. When I drove past them, the boy was hanging on tight to his little brother's hand. The younger child looked 5 or 6 and was just little enough to still not watch for cars. The little boy's steps were smaller and the older boy shortened his steps to match. When they got to the parking lot, he didn't go his own way or drop the smaller child's hand. I could the little boy chattering and the bigger brother nod his head, listening. I don't know this boy or who he is, but it so warmed my heart to see a big high school kid being that sensitive to what was probably a pesky sibling. I caught the young man later this morning walking down the hall. I asked if he always walked his brother and sister to school. He nodded, not sure where I was going with the question. I patted him on the shoulder and simply said "you are a good big brother" to which his face lit up and he nodded a quick appreciation. I asked around and found out that other teachers said he is a really nice kid. Maybe he will be in my class next year.
Something about that moment of little boy and big boy together made me teary eyed and thankful that I get to be with these kids, get to know them, maybe learn a little while I teach a little. It more than made up for the day before when I was this close to yelling at a kid, this close to telling a kid he was wasting my time and the oxygen in the room, for actually saying "If you want to fail my class this badly, go ahead because I can't make you pass and I am finished trying." The boy walking to school didn't particularly look like he was having fun, but he looked like he was patiently doing something he knew must be done. That patience and gentleness and goodness emanating from him was such an example to me.
I finished the day with a learning disability student making the highest grade on the final. It was so nice to be able to say this kid who struggles so much, who often doesn't get it the first or even second time, "man, you did a fabulous job." What it also says is that my other kids didn't study enough., which is a different rant. If anyone deserved to have the highest grade, it was this boy who studied the most and tried his hardest. I like that work sometimes pays off more than just sheer smarts. I like to be able to send home an email bragging on a kid who doesn't get bragged on much.
Friday is the last day before break. I have a smidge of stocking shopping left to do. Family time coming up. Jack will be home next week. I am ready for a break, but I am really thankful for this day.
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Cozy and Thankful for the Family That Came With Marriage
It is amazing how much differenc water, a warm house, and some sleep make.
We made the move up to Rubilee's mid morning yesterday, pushing our stuff in a wheelbarrow through the snow. A 7 year old thinks she should pack her own bag (which has an equal amount of stuffed animals and good choices like a book and a board game), a mom packs toiletries, clothes, the pillow and blanket ( to which the kid has a Linus like attachment), supplemental groceries, briefcase full tests and AP a Research papers, a sled, and craft stuff and games ( to keep kid busy when she discovers that stuffed animals have a limited entertainment value.). Yes, we unglamorously trudged up with a wheelbarrow.
It was a good day. Rubilee and Harold have very different internal thermostats so it was a very toasty day, the kind where I wear my thinnest pants and a tee shirt while the heat is set on 76. That's totally okay. We played in the snow a little, we made cookies and biscotti, we had baths in the magic tub ( it has jets) and Bell was going to sleep in the magic bed ( hide-a-bed) though she ended up in my bed.
My in laws have a big house with living quarters and bedrooms on both floors so we were able to spread out. When they wanted family time, we all were upstairs, but when they needed a break, they went downstairs where they mostly live when we aren't here. When they went to bed, I cracked a window for a bit over my bed and turned the heat down a twitch. I made sure I reset it when I got up.
I am still stressed about our water situation. I hate to think of having to dig up the sidewalk to replace the line that will surely break while we are shut down. I hate to think of Jack driving home Monday and having to come here instead of home, possibly for most of his stay at home because if the pipes break, it will not be a quick fix. On the other hand, I am really thankful for this warm house with its magic tub and wide spaces.
But here is the thing. I know so many people who dread going to their in-laws, who see their spouse's family as something to be endured. I am so lucky, so blessed to get to share Jack's family. His parents are kind and seem to genuinely like us being here (they may be ready for a break come Monday). They are gracious and hospitable, but are also past treating us like company. Rubilee has finally in the last year let me help in the kitchen. Harold feels free to tease me. But they do the big things like open their home as easily as they do the small things. Yesterday, Harold went in the truck and went up and down my driveway making a path so I could get my car out if I have to. I always cringe when I hear other people talk about in-laws as if they are something to be endured. I know my dad's parents see my mom as the daughter they didn't have, so maybe I just a good example of what this extended family thing should be. Or maybe I am just blessed.
We made the move up to Rubilee's mid morning yesterday, pushing our stuff in a wheelbarrow through the snow. A 7 year old thinks she should pack her own bag (which has an equal amount of stuffed animals and good choices like a book and a board game), a mom packs toiletries, clothes, the pillow and blanket ( to which the kid has a Linus like attachment), supplemental groceries, briefcase full tests and AP a Research papers, a sled, and craft stuff and games ( to keep kid busy when she discovers that stuffed animals have a limited entertainment value.). Yes, we unglamorously trudged up with a wheelbarrow.
It was a good day. Rubilee and Harold have very different internal thermostats so it was a very toasty day, the kind where I wear my thinnest pants and a tee shirt while the heat is set on 76. That's totally okay. We played in the snow a little, we made cookies and biscotti, we had baths in the magic tub ( it has jets) and Bell was going to sleep in the magic bed ( hide-a-bed) though she ended up in my bed.
My in laws have a big house with living quarters and bedrooms on both floors so we were able to spread out. When they wanted family time, we all were upstairs, but when they needed a break, they went downstairs where they mostly live when we aren't here. When they went to bed, I cracked a window for a bit over my bed and turned the heat down a twitch. I made sure I reset it when I got up.
I am still stressed about our water situation. I hate to think of having to dig up the sidewalk to replace the line that will surely break while we are shut down. I hate to think of Jack driving home Monday and having to come here instead of home, possibly for most of his stay at home because if the pipes break, it will not be a quick fix. On the other hand, I am really thankful for this warm house with its magic tub and wide spaces.
But here is the thing. I know so many people who dread going to their in-laws, who see their spouse's family as something to be endured. I am so lucky, so blessed to get to share Jack's family. His parents are kind and seem to genuinely like us being here (they may be ready for a break come Monday). They are gracious and hospitable, but are also past treating us like company. Rubilee has finally in the last year let me help in the kitchen. Harold feels free to tease me. But they do the big things like open their home as easily as they do the small things. Yesterday, Harold went in the truck and went up and down my driveway making a path so I could get my car out if I have to. I always cringe when I hear other people talk about in-laws as if they are something to be endured. I know my dad's parents see my mom as the daughter they didn't have, so maybe I just a good example of what this extended family thing should be. Or maybe I am just blessed.
Friday, December 6, 2013
Cold. Just damn cold.
I have been awake since 2 for the most part. Partly the old bursitis and sciatica in my hip kept me up, but I think I just fretted a lot.
I wish I could be one of those calm, serene people who took things in stride and never got ruffled, but I am not. I obsess and I fret. I grind my teeth, stay awake all night and get fever blisters.
Yesterday, the sleet started in Elgin around 11 and the snow mixed with sleet had begun in ear test by noon. It was 2 before I got my classes covered and got out of there. The drive home was tense, but okay. Getting up our hill to the house was a different matter. Right inside the gate, the car started slipping. I debated leaving it there, but I would have spent the next 4 days worried that it would slide down in the road or that something would happen to it. So with a little salt and cat litter and a shovel and 45 minutes, I got up the hill and under the carport. With only a little salt, I kept having to move the car five feet and then scoop up the salt and move it too.
I gave in and fed the stray dog, but he had to make do with sleeping on the cat bed in the shed. Poor cats are not happy, but I just can't let a stray in. And don't say call animal control. Where I live animal control consists of a shotgun and a ditch. Harsh, but true. I got some laundry done in anticipation of losing power and water, got some chicken soup going for Bella, and then noticed the water was surging.
Of course Jack has been in Alva for the both the last snow storm and this one, so I got to crouch down under the pressure tank with a phone and pull this lever and watch that gauge and flip that switch while Jack tried to diagnose my problem. Last night he thought we had a broken waterline between the well and the house, causing the pump to constantly kick on. Rather than burn up the pump overnight and then have to pull it out of the well, we opted for shutting the water off. I can turn it on for a few minutes to refill toilets and water jugs, but that is it. No dripping to protect my water line. This morning Jack thinks it must be something wrong in a control switch, but once again, this is not something I can fix. In the meantime, if we didn't have a broken pipe before, we probably will by the time Jack comes home next week.
In the meantime, the house is cold. During last winter, during the last snow storm, we stayed warm, but the furnace ran all night and it is 64 in here.
I really despise venting in this space. But I am just so tired and frustrated. I imagine we will go to Rubilee's for the day, maybe for the duration. I can walk down and heat up water for the barn cats and the stray. I have several cooking pots of water drawn up for emergencies so there is enough water for drinking by humans and animals. I don't know - maybe we will walk back and sleep in my bed at night. Maybe. Maybe. Not sure I will keep the kid entertained at someone else's house for days on end. For certain, we won't be going farther than that walk to her house.
Jack is in a mood too, frustrated that there isn't anything he can do to help. He says we just move to town and live in a condo. A condo where pipes can still freeze, where the power can still go out, where the neighbors' dogs bark and the idiot next door plays his music too loud. Yeah, that really isn't an option for me. This too will pass. We will get the water fixed, though it may take a few days depending on how much damage Jack finds when he gets home. We can stay with my in-laws in the meantime.
I wish I could be one of those calm, serene people who took things in stride and never got ruffled, but I am not. I obsess and I fret. I grind my teeth, stay awake all night and get fever blisters.
Yesterday, the sleet started in Elgin around 11 and the snow mixed with sleet had begun in ear test by noon. It was 2 before I got my classes covered and got out of there. The drive home was tense, but okay. Getting up our hill to the house was a different matter. Right inside the gate, the car started slipping. I debated leaving it there, but I would have spent the next 4 days worried that it would slide down in the road or that something would happen to it. So with a little salt and cat litter and a shovel and 45 minutes, I got up the hill and under the carport. With only a little salt, I kept having to move the car five feet and then scoop up the salt and move it too.
I gave in and fed the stray dog, but he had to make do with sleeping on the cat bed in the shed. Poor cats are not happy, but I just can't let a stray in. And don't say call animal control. Where I live animal control consists of a shotgun and a ditch. Harsh, but true. I got some laundry done in anticipation of losing power and water, got some chicken soup going for Bella, and then noticed the water was surging.
Of course Jack has been in Alva for the both the last snow storm and this one, so I got to crouch down under the pressure tank with a phone and pull this lever and watch that gauge and flip that switch while Jack tried to diagnose my problem. Last night he thought we had a broken waterline between the well and the house, causing the pump to constantly kick on. Rather than burn up the pump overnight and then have to pull it out of the well, we opted for shutting the water off. I can turn it on for a few minutes to refill toilets and water jugs, but that is it. No dripping to protect my water line. This morning Jack thinks it must be something wrong in a control switch, but once again, this is not something I can fix. In the meantime, if we didn't have a broken pipe before, we probably will by the time Jack comes home next week.
In the meantime, the house is cold. During last winter, during the last snow storm, we stayed warm, but the furnace ran all night and it is 64 in here.
I really despise venting in this space. But I am just so tired and frustrated. I imagine we will go to Rubilee's for the day, maybe for the duration. I can walk down and heat up water for the barn cats and the stray. I have several cooking pots of water drawn up for emergencies so there is enough water for drinking by humans and animals. I don't know - maybe we will walk back and sleep in my bed at night. Maybe. Maybe. Not sure I will keep the kid entertained at someone else's house for days on end. For certain, we won't be going farther than that walk to her house.
Jack is in a mood too, frustrated that there isn't anything he can do to help. He says we just move to town and live in a condo. A condo where pipes can still freeze, where the power can still go out, where the neighbors' dogs bark and the idiot next door plays his music too loud. Yeah, that really isn't an option for me. This too will pass. We will get the water fixed, though it may take a few days depending on how much damage Jack finds when he gets home. We can stay with my in-laws in the meantime.
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