It was so cold the first part of the week. Just so cold that I dreaded each time I had to put boots on and feed animals or switch out the laundry in the well house or all those other things that needed doing beyond the confines of the house. But put my boots on I did. I even ventured out to play with my girl, knowing it might be a long while before I again had a chance to push her down the hill on a sled.
Sunday and Monday we divided our time between getting warm and dried out and playing outside. I have to admit that I only was out for an hour twice on Sunday and and two on Monday. Bella spent the 4 out on Sunday and still outlasted me again on Monday. When we finally wore all the snow out on our own hill, we moved across the pasture to Rubilee's hill. She seemed to get a kick out of Bell flying down her slope. I know she watched for a long time from a perch in her warm kitchen. She didn't seem sad that we wore out her snow too.
It was not all play though. Poor Jack spent all day driving around in that mess. I managed to get all of the research papers graded, but at least it was at the kitchen table with a cup of steaming tea in my hand. Now I am at least caught up until the AP kids turn in their research papers this coming week.
That was a brief return to school on Tuesday, but Wednesday saw us in full swing in the kitchen. Bell had crazy dance music going in the kitchen so Jack Dear had to put up with me dancing while I cooked. He was my partner all afternoon. We made from scratch green bean casserole - that means we start with fresh beans, boxes of mushrooms and cartons of cream and butter. Nothing comes out of a can except the onion topping. He made my mushroom soup - I got to show him how to do a roux. Not often I know something he doesn't. He then progressed to taking care of snacky foods for tomorrow night. I was busy with fruit cake. Oh yes. It was fruitcake day. Our kitchn reeks of molasses, brandy, and our own blend of spices that we made for the special tropical fruitcake; my hand has blisters from snipping all those dried fruits - I bet Jack's does too. Between the two of us, we cut up 5 pounds of good died fruits, not the old nasty candied stuff. Harold must have been counting on fruitcake this year because he bought the brandy before Jack had a chance to. We will all have to wait a month for our reward.
What the week really reminded me of was how much I love being with my crazy husband and kid. Bell and I really had fun together in the snow. It made me think of all those snow days when my mom would come out and help us sled or try to make snowmen. She wasn't ever the sort of mom to say, "go play while I . . . ". She always played out in the snow with us and then gave us hot cocoa and cookies when we came in. I know I always loved the fact that mom enjoyed really doing things with us, not just being a parent from the living room couch. All too often I don't seem to have enough time to really do the things I want to with Bell, so I did love that walk with her a week ago and I did love playing this week. Those moments feel stolen, but a I am grateful for them. And Jack? We used to cook with each other all the time before Bella. It was our time to do something together, to talk through the events of the day, to share that book, to just be. There is something very intimate about cooking together. Perhaps it is the complicated dance of working together in a small kitchen or the holding out of a spoon full of cheesecake batter offering a taste of something sweet, waiting for the other person to trustingly take what you offer. It could be foreplay, but it doesn't have to be. It is more. It is closeness and sharing of words and space, though the proximity of a kiss is nothing to pass up either.
Today we will be off to Loco for dinner with my family. Since some of my siblings have to work Friday and Saturday, Rubilee graciously said she didn't mind if we had dinner with her on the weekend instead of on Thanksgiving day. We missed Christmas dinner last year because of the snow storm so I am overdue for some Wilson holiday chaos. It will also be the first holiday and family gathering since Tuck and Lex got married. I am really excited to go tomorrow. I hope you are all
with the ones you love. May our words be patient and gentle. May we soak up life. May we laugh and tell stories. May we be a thankful. May we love.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Sunday, November 17, 2013
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately
Whenever Jack leaves for the week, there is an out of joint feeling in the house. The balance is off as we adjust to the house being a third quieter, a third less funny, sweet and witty, a third less everything. I wouldn't say melancholy, though last time Bell did have a full blown melt down at bed time.
Today when he left, the air was balmy, almost spring like, even though things are turning rapidly from red and gold to dusty browns. Too nice of a day to spend inside moping in front of the TV, too nice to let Bell waste knowing that cold days are around the corner.
Last week Bell and I went to the woods for an armload of grapevine and Jack Dear showed me how to make wreaths. Today, in our rubber boots (stickers don't stick into them like tennis shoes), we girls trooped down the hill and across the lake dam to the woods beyond in search of everything from grasses to leaves to dried berries for wreath decorating. Bell divided her time in wading in the edge of the water, managing not to get in deeper than her boots until the end, and in being my eagle eye spotting the best leaves and acorns. We explored the old fish camp, spied on turtles, watched fish jumping, all while trying not to spook the ducks hanging out in the north neck of the lake.
All the while, Thoreau kept whispering in my head. My kids always scoff a bit when I teach him. They are unconvinced, they do not relate to a "barbaric yawp." As I pulled down fat clusters of berries from a green briar, I felt like this was living, this enjoying of the day with my blond fearless leader, not just watching the lake from the house, but being down here in the sun and the water and the woods.
I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close.
Perhaps the problem is the my kids don't go out and just look and listen. I know have hunters in class, but do they ever go into nature to just be, without needing to kill something? I know they go to lakes, but are they ever peaceful, or just partying?
Whether my kids ever get it or not, days like today are good for my soul. We managed to stay out for at least 2 hours, stopping on the way home at Grandma's for a snack and a visit. As much as I loved being in the woods, what I needed the most was time with Bell. There were no spelling words, no hustling off to soccer practice, no fussing about chores. Just us. No hash words or whining. Just the sound of the fish splashing, the birds calling, and the wind in the trees.
Today when he left, the air was balmy, almost spring like, even though things are turning rapidly from red and gold to dusty browns. Too nice of a day to spend inside moping in front of the TV, too nice to let Bell waste knowing that cold days are around the corner.
Last week Bell and I went to the woods for an armload of grapevine and Jack Dear showed me how to make wreaths. Today, in our rubber boots (stickers don't stick into them like tennis shoes), we girls trooped down the hill and across the lake dam to the woods beyond in search of everything from grasses to leaves to dried berries for wreath decorating. Bell divided her time in wading in the edge of the water, managing not to get in deeper than her boots until the end, and in being my eagle eye spotting the best leaves and acorns. We explored the old fish camp, spied on turtles, watched fish jumping, all while trying not to spook the ducks hanging out in the north neck of the lake.
All the while, Thoreau kept whispering in my head. My kids always scoff a bit when I teach him. They are unconvinced, they do not relate to a "barbaric yawp." As I pulled down fat clusters of berries from a green briar, I felt like this was living, this enjoying of the day with my blond fearless leader, not just watching the lake from the house, but being down here in the sun and the water and the woods.
I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close.
Perhaps the problem is the my kids don't go out and just look and listen. I know have hunters in class, but do they ever go into nature to just be, without needing to kill something? I know they go to lakes, but are they ever peaceful, or just partying?
Whether my kids ever get it or not, days like today are good for my soul. We managed to stay out for at least 2 hours, stopping on the way home at Grandma's for a snack and a visit. As much as I loved being in the woods, what I needed the most was time with Bell. There were no spelling words, no hustling off to soccer practice, no fussing about chores. Just us. No hash words or whining. Just the sound of the fish splashing, the birds calling, and the wind in the trees.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Soap Box
This page is my space to get down my thoughts and feelings about what is most important to me - family, hopes and dreams - sometimes it is a place to allow myself to be sad or angry, but I am not sure I have ever used this page to ask my friends to take political action.
This rant is primarily directed at Oklahoma, but other states have adopted similar measures, so don't discount this if you live afar.
Last week the official A-F ratings went out for schools. We knew they were coming, we had the scores, but finally the public could see the scores too. Elgin High got an A, as did the English Delartment itself (thanks to those fabulous ladies I work with). So I have nothing to complain about, right? Wrong. From the first day our score was given, it changed 5 times, bouncing from a mid A to low and gradually back to mid. Other schools had more changes. These scores were based on some real data and a lot of arbitrary data.
I say arbitrary because test scores are a fickle thing, especially when cut scores are manipulated unfairly. We don't know what the required score will be to pass until after the tests have been graded. Never mind that biology teachers recommended one score. The state went with a higher one. Test scores are fickle because they give you a snap shot of what a kid did on a computerized test after she had been testing for the better part of two weeks, after her computer had locked up and she sat there staring at it for an hour, after who knows what went on in her home that morning, after she worked until midnight at McDonalds to bring in the only money in her house, after she took care of a baby at 2 AM, after a friend died in a car wreck, after . . . , after . . . , after . Every one of those afters were actually true for students I administered a test to last spring. They are real and I am guessing that much worse real things happen in our students' lives every day.
There are a lot of things that happen in students' lives that cause them not to shine their brightest, no matter how much we teach, love, motivate, cajole, discipline. We have them part of the day and then someone else is supposed to be in charge. Supposed is the operative word here. Lots of kids live in homes where no is willing or able to be in charge.
So this A - F rating is based on a lot of things ranging from what courses we offer to our test scores. We bear a huge amount of responsibility, but we can not be entirely responsible when it comes to factors like attendance and scores. Top this off with the idea that now these scores will affect whether I receive all of my salary. I had to write a plan that stated what my goals were for my test scores. If the kids don't meet it, then I don't get paid as much. This is a pilot year thank goodness.
Sometimes kids shouldn't be responsible either. In the third grade, the new law is that students must pass a state test to get to go on to 4th grade. One test. No make up. No do over. How many 3rd grades are ready to understand the consequences of failing one test affecting their entire next year? They are little kids. They get upset and distracted by silly things like whether they got to sit in the blue chair or they had to sit in the ugly brown chair, like the kids who are already at recess, like they forgot their glasses at home. Last year Bell bombed a spelling test and said she didn't feel good. I made her stay at school because she wasn't running a fever, but she showed me. By bedtime she was at 103. You think she felt good? No, probably not, and she probably didn't do well partly because of that. It was only a spelling test, but what if it had been that 3rd grade test?
Do not get me wrong. Kids and schools and parents should be held accountable. Someone she should make sure we are working every single day in my room and not just watching movies. Someone should make sure we are discussing and doing leveled questions and analyzing and connecting, not just doing fill in the blank worksheets. Tests are important and they do have a place. However, when these scores start mattering so much that my eye twitches for the last 3 months of school or third grader who has made good grades all year but flopped on a test doesn't get to go on, this is a problem. When kids dread going to school and they are stressed out over grades and scores even though they are doing their best, this is a problem. When the kid who has made leaps and bounds of progress but has a learning disability won't get a diploma because he didn't make the cut score, this is a problem.
And why am I ranting at you? Because our government is largely responsible and we elected that government. Janet Baressi is unwilling to budge on these issues and just spends more money to develop more tests. Governor Fallin thinks schools and teachers should quit complaining or we should be penalized for our voice. Election year is right around the corner, but right now you can demand change by letting your voice be heard publicly and in letters to your senators and representatives. Even if you are a homeschool family, this will eventually affect you when this years students become next years employees and tax payers. It is your tax dollars that get spent in schools.
We should have high standards, but we should have reason and good judgment too.
This rant is primarily directed at Oklahoma, but other states have adopted similar measures, so don't discount this if you live afar.
Last week the official A-F ratings went out for schools. We knew they were coming, we had the scores, but finally the public could see the scores too. Elgin High got an A, as did the English Delartment itself (thanks to those fabulous ladies I work with). So I have nothing to complain about, right? Wrong. From the first day our score was given, it changed 5 times, bouncing from a mid A to low and gradually back to mid. Other schools had more changes. These scores were based on some real data and a lot of arbitrary data.
I say arbitrary because test scores are a fickle thing, especially when cut scores are manipulated unfairly. We don't know what the required score will be to pass until after the tests have been graded. Never mind that biology teachers recommended one score. The state went with a higher one. Test scores are fickle because they give you a snap shot of what a kid did on a computerized test after she had been testing for the better part of two weeks, after her computer had locked up and she sat there staring at it for an hour, after who knows what went on in her home that morning, after she worked until midnight at McDonalds to bring in the only money in her house, after she took care of a baby at 2 AM, after a friend died in a car wreck, after . . . , after . . . , after . Every one of those afters were actually true for students I administered a test to last spring. They are real and I am guessing that much worse real things happen in our students' lives every day.
There are a lot of things that happen in students' lives that cause them not to shine their brightest, no matter how much we teach, love, motivate, cajole, discipline. We have them part of the day and then someone else is supposed to be in charge. Supposed is the operative word here. Lots of kids live in homes where no is willing or able to be in charge.
So this A - F rating is based on a lot of things ranging from what courses we offer to our test scores. We bear a huge amount of responsibility, but we can not be entirely responsible when it comes to factors like attendance and scores. Top this off with the idea that now these scores will affect whether I receive all of my salary. I had to write a plan that stated what my goals were for my test scores. If the kids don't meet it, then I don't get paid as much. This is a pilot year thank goodness.
Sometimes kids shouldn't be responsible either. In the third grade, the new law is that students must pass a state test to get to go on to 4th grade. One test. No make up. No do over. How many 3rd grades are ready to understand the consequences of failing one test affecting their entire next year? They are little kids. They get upset and distracted by silly things like whether they got to sit in the blue chair or they had to sit in the ugly brown chair, like the kids who are already at recess, like they forgot their glasses at home. Last year Bell bombed a spelling test and said she didn't feel good. I made her stay at school because she wasn't running a fever, but she showed me. By bedtime she was at 103. You think she felt good? No, probably not, and she probably didn't do well partly because of that. It was only a spelling test, but what if it had been that 3rd grade test?
Do not get me wrong. Kids and schools and parents should be held accountable. Someone she should make sure we are working every single day in my room and not just watching movies. Someone should make sure we are discussing and doing leveled questions and analyzing and connecting, not just doing fill in the blank worksheets. Tests are important and they do have a place. However, when these scores start mattering so much that my eye twitches for the last 3 months of school or third grader who has made good grades all year but flopped on a test doesn't get to go on, this is a problem. When kids dread going to school and they are stressed out over grades and scores even though they are doing their best, this is a problem. When the kid who has made leaps and bounds of progress but has a learning disability won't get a diploma because he didn't make the cut score, this is a problem.
And why am I ranting at you? Because our government is largely responsible and we elected that government. Janet Baressi is unwilling to budge on these issues and just spends more money to develop more tests. Governor Fallin thinks schools and teachers should quit complaining or we should be penalized for our voice. Election year is right around the corner, but right now you can demand change by letting your voice be heard publicly and in letters to your senators and representatives. Even if you are a homeschool family, this will eventually affect you when this years students become next years employees and tax payers. It is your tax dollars that get spent in schools.
We should have high standards, but we should have reason and good judgment too.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Taking Summer Down
Summer sang its last song weeks ago, but we weren't quite ready to say good bye. "We" as in the garden and me. I was still picking a few tomatoes and the vines had lots of small green ones. I can never beat to tear down the garden until we are well and truly done. Tuesday night will bring a hard freeze and so today, Bell and I started taking down the garden.
We only got the tomatoes vines pulled up and detangled from their cages, but over the next few weeks we will find time when Jack is home to pull up the cages and remove the wires holding them upright. Still, just this giant pile of vines was progress. I found my first horn worm of the season today - I hate to kill them because they are so beautiful, but they are death to a tomato patch. Not quite ready to think about winter, we planted some bulbs for spring and watered the fruit trees. Somehow, this led to playing in the mud in November.
Last fall, we threw the birdhouse gourd that didn't mature over the fence into the Cat Kingdom. At the end of summer Jack discovered that there was quite a birdhouse gourd patch growing back there. They never got watered but they flourished. Oddly enough, the grasshoppers left them alone even though the gourds we planted in the yard were devoured.
Bella and I trooped out with a basket and pruners and came back with several good sized gourds. Now they just have to dry for a few months. While we were across the fence, we walked on down below the lake and pulled down armloads of grapevines for fall wreaths. Bell had never pulled down grapevines before. Some were too big, as fat as my arm, but even the skinny ones went all the way to the tops of the oaks and elms. Now they are piled on the picnic table since it got dark before we could shape them.
It was gorgeous out today, but Tuesday will be in the 40s. I am not yet ready for the cold. For today, I will be thankful for my outdoor girl who tagged along by my side as we did fall things.
We only got the tomatoes vines pulled up and detangled from their cages, but over the next few weeks we will find time when Jack is home to pull up the cages and remove the wires holding them upright. Still, just this giant pile of vines was progress. I found my first horn worm of the season today - I hate to kill them because they are so beautiful, but they are death to a tomato patch. Not quite ready to think about winter, we planted some bulbs for spring and watered the fruit trees. Somehow, this led to playing in the mud in November.
Last fall, we threw the birdhouse gourd that didn't mature over the fence into the Cat Kingdom. At the end of summer Jack discovered that there was quite a birdhouse gourd patch growing back there. They never got watered but they flourished. Oddly enough, the grasshoppers left them alone even though the gourds we planted in the yard were devoured.
Bella and I trooped out with a basket and pruners and came back with several good sized gourds. Now they just have to dry for a few months. While we were across the fence, we walked on down below the lake and pulled down armloads of grapevines for fall wreaths. Bell had never pulled down grapevines before. Some were too big, as fat as my arm, but even the skinny ones went all the way to the tops of the oaks and elms. Now they are piled on the picnic table since it got dark before we could shape them.
It was gorgeous out today, but Tuesday will be in the 40s. I am not yet ready for the cold. For today, I will be thankful for my outdoor girl who tagged along by my side as we did fall things.
Friday, November 8, 2013
Jack's child, Sarah's child
The combination of genetics and environment has created a bizarre creature in our house. That school pic this year is my child. The child who free hands pictures that look traced is Jack's. The child who is okay with mediocre spelling grades because spelling is unimportant on most days is also Jack's. The child who melt's down when she is tired or who has a fit when the spelling (that unimportant spelling) is not a 100 ( because perfection is important ) is my child.
Today's child was a challenge to my meager two cups of coffee. Probably there wasn't enough coffee on the planet. Thankfully there was a dad, a phone call away, to talk reason into her.
This is strange and macabre, but Jack and Bell collect bones, particularly skulls of animals. After cleaning the bones forever, they study their structure and have science conversations about species and why one animal is built this way and not that way. This all seems slightly odd, but harmless. These skulls are usually found in the pasture or near the lake. Today, however, below the house, a coyote had been hit by a car. Bell was furious because I woudln't stop and get its head. On the way to school. 7:15. School clothes. 40 degrees. Dead coyote. Absolutely not.
My refusal infuriated her beyond belief. I was thwarting her interest in biology and that coyote was dead anyway and by the time we came home, some truck would have ran over it and crushed it.
Here's the thing. As ridiculous as her request was, her response to me was, well, just like me. Stubborn. Tenacious.
So I have been thinking today about personalities and quirks and how most of us fall a bit short of perfect. Bell is a handful when she is tired and makes me crazy, but I am pretty sure I make Jack nuts at times, and I know I made my parents crazy. My students undoubtedly would like to change a few of my quirks.
I need others' patience and support, their love. But that means I have to practice patience too, and not just my eccentric child, but with those 90 other children, their parents, the annoying woman in Walmart last week.
A lack of coffee really isn't valid. Neither is technology that didn't work all week. I need to work a bit harder at that patience, no matter what. Even when dead coyotes show up.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Bella Day
Last fall the first grade went to Tiger Safari near Tuttle . The first grade sans Bella who woke with a stomach bug that day. We promised our own family trip there but unemployment brings money woes and the day trip kept getting pushed back and back and back. We had honestly planned a trip in the spring but Jack was working a crazy schedule and always seemed on call. Ten there was the back injury.
Chaos abounds for us. Jack is back at work but is still limping and slow going so we haven't planned any real trips yet, but Bella really needed a special day. She has not handled everything with grace lately, but there were a few moments in the past few weeks, when she handled disappointment at least stoically if not gracefully. Jack had Sunday off and though it was chilly, we packed the kid in the car with a cryptic "we have errands to run" and "shoe shopping. ". Instead of complaining, she just nested in the back seat and cheerfully sang along with Jack and the radio.
We had hoped she wouldn't notice we were going to Tiger Safari until we actually pulled in, but she saw a billboard about a mile out, and cleverly figured out my plan.
We braved the wind and trooped from enclosure to enclosure watching lemurs and monkeys play, tigers and lions spat, and bears chew on their toes. Bell got to do a bit handling at the end - she says lemurs are crazy soft.
Chaos abounds for us. Jack is back at work but is still limping and slow going so we haven't planned any real trips yet, but Bella really needed a special day. She has not handled everything with grace lately, but there were a few moments in the past few weeks, when she handled disappointment at least stoically if not gracefully. Jack had Sunday off and though it was chilly, we packed the kid in the car with a cryptic "we have errands to run" and "shoe shopping. ". Instead of complaining, she just nested in the back seat and cheerfully sang along with Jack and the radio.
We had hoped she wouldn't notice we were going to Tiger Safari until we actually pulled in, but she saw a billboard about a mile out, and cleverly figured out my plan.
We braved the wind and trooped from enclosure to enclosure watching lemurs and monkeys play, tigers and lions spat, and bears chew on their toes. Bell got to do a bit handling at the end - she says lemurs are crazy soft.
We really don't take too many days and just blow them off this way. They are expensive, but not just in money, but in time. Until soccer is over, we are on the go every Saturday and during the week, we barely keep our heads above water. But sometimes, it just needs to be about us being together. Those days of rest are important, but a day together feeds the soul.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Stage Center
I haven't been able to get off the merry go round just yet. In the past week, we had something "extra" every single day. There were soccer practice nights, a day with a double header game, Halloween, a night at Rubliee's to have dinner with visiting family from Washington . . . Just crazy busy. As much fun as it is to let Jack turn my kid into a zombie, the highlights of the week were the soccer game and the 2nd grade musical.
Friday I slipped out of class, leaving my charges with another teacher, and joined Jack and Rubliee to watch Bella in the musical about classic rock. She was a fifties girl with her rolled up jeans and bobby socks, canvas sneakers, white button down shirt with rolled up sleeves, and a scarf in her hair. She was in the center of the risers, second row - just where we could see her boppin' and swaying with the tunes.
The first day of music practice, Bella came home in a dither because she had a speaking part in the Elton Parsely show. Me: Elton Parsely? Bella: Yeah, you know he had a song about shoes made of blue thick leather. Me: oooohhh. Blue Suede Shoes, possibly? Bella: yup.
Bell got to be a crazy daisy for the song Tutti Fruit and then introduced a Surfin' USA. When it was her turn to be in front of the mic, she just hopped up and belted out her lines, dancing and singing with a grin. It was so much fun to watch her and all the other itty bitty rockers. Her school is blessed to have an amazing music teacher.
The whole thing was just joy - I see so much of us in Bella. She can be a hellion, but she also loves an audience. It never occurred to her be nervous or to have stage fright. There was no hesitancy, no pause. Just performance. This is my child. I know most of you don't see this part of me since I didn't do theater, but when I started college, I really wanted to be a professional speech maker.
Watching these kids on stage made me wonder when people began to get stage fright. Only one of these little kids seemed upset, though a few seemed shy. It was such a departure from a performance I witnessed in my AP class that morning. My AP kids are in groups and each group will be teaching a Romantic poet and analysis of three of that poet's works. The first group went Friday and one boy was just miserable. It was the whole shaky voice, no eye contact, repeating what had already been said, stumbling over words fiasco. The rest of group was calm and professional. I felt sorry for him, though I was fairly sure some of his trouble was a lack of preparedness.
But when we do we learn to fear performing? When does an audience become the enemy instead of a gift letting us shine? I require my kids to get up and do something, even if it is just explain a sentence, several times a year and it is just terror for many.
I hope my kid never loses the magic dust that let's speaking and holding court for a few moments be fun, a high all of its own. It is a gift, but it is also a craft to be honed.
Today the merry go round is still in full swing. We should be out the door to church, but are sneaking away for a surprise trip to Tiger Safari. Bell missed her field trip there last year thanks to a stomach bug and has been begging to go for a year. We have told her we are going shoe shopping. I think this will be a pleasant surprise. I hope all of your personal merry go rounds have some sweet pauses this week and if you have a chance to shine, you do so spectacularly.
Friday I slipped out of class, leaving my charges with another teacher, and joined Jack and Rubliee to watch Bella in the musical about classic rock. She was a fifties girl with her rolled up jeans and bobby socks, canvas sneakers, white button down shirt with rolled up sleeves, and a scarf in her hair. She was in the center of the risers, second row - just where we could see her boppin' and swaying with the tunes.
The first day of music practice, Bella came home in a dither because she had a speaking part in the Elton Parsely show. Me: Elton Parsely? Bella: Yeah, you know he had a song about shoes made of blue thick leather. Me: oooohhh. Blue Suede Shoes, possibly? Bella: yup.
Bell got to be a crazy daisy for the song Tutti Fruit and then introduced a Surfin' USA. When it was her turn to be in front of the mic, she just hopped up and belted out her lines, dancing and singing with a grin. It was so much fun to watch her and all the other itty bitty rockers. Her school is blessed to have an amazing music teacher.
The whole thing was just joy - I see so much of us in Bella. She can be a hellion, but she also loves an audience. It never occurred to her be nervous or to have stage fright. There was no hesitancy, no pause. Just performance. This is my child. I know most of you don't see this part of me since I didn't do theater, but when I started college, I really wanted to be a professional speech maker.
Watching these kids on stage made me wonder when people began to get stage fright. Only one of these little kids seemed upset, though a few seemed shy. It was such a departure from a performance I witnessed in my AP class that morning. My AP kids are in groups and each group will be teaching a Romantic poet and analysis of three of that poet's works. The first group went Friday and one boy was just miserable. It was the whole shaky voice, no eye contact, repeating what had already been said, stumbling over words fiasco. The rest of group was calm and professional. I felt sorry for him, though I was fairly sure some of his trouble was a lack of preparedness.
But when we do we learn to fear performing? When does an audience become the enemy instead of a gift letting us shine? I require my kids to get up and do something, even if it is just explain a sentence, several times a year and it is just terror for many.
I hope my kid never loses the magic dust that let's speaking and holding court for a few moments be fun, a high all of its own. It is a gift, but it is also a craft to be honed.
Today the merry go round is still in full swing. We should be out the door to church, but are sneaking away for a surprise trip to Tiger Safari. Bell missed her field trip there last year thanks to a stomach bug and has been begging to go for a year. We have told her we are going shoe shopping. I think this will be a pleasant surprise. I hope all of your personal merry go rounds have some sweet pauses this week and if you have a chance to shine, you do so spectacularly.
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