Saturday, March 28, 2015

Happy Nine

It is absolutely hard to believe that nine years ago at this time in the morning, I was getting to hold Margaret Isabella for the first time, her already clean and swaddled, me still in recovery and not very coherent after a c-section, Jack so happy that his feet didn't touch the ground.  7:30 this morning found me discovering that maybe I did like frosting after all, as I carefully made delicate ruffled edges around a cake. Truly, this truffle frosting is divine.

Jack's cake cutting privileges have been revoked  - that is enough for four girls!
We didn't do anything huge for her birthday this year - we had a state park spring break last week, we are planning a short trip for an upcoming long weekend, and a big trip is hovering on the horizon.  Couple this with a girl who really couldn't think of anything she wanted, and we decided a low-key birthday was on order.  I found a box set of Percy Jackson for her and  I also picked up The Twenty One Balloons for her since she has been dying to read it and our library doesn't have it.  Jack and Bell are already reading it together, cuddled up on the couch while I blog.  As big as she is, as much as she reads on her own, thankfully,  she still enjoys snuggling with one of us and being read to. There were some other small science things that all met approval. In a few hours, we will get ourselves together and head to town with Grandma Rubilee for a birthday lunch and movie.

I think this is going to be a year of a lot of change for Bella.  A month ago, we had to go training bra shopping.  She doesn't need one nearly all the time, but she has budded out just enough that a few  shirts are too clingy.  Two months ago, we had to force her to wear clothes at home.  Now, she insists on clothes 24 hours a day, her preference being to put on Old Navy pajama pants and camis as soon as she gets home.  Not exactly public appearance clothes, but a big step from wanting to be a streaker.   Acne has appeared, but she is doing a great job of using her new cleansing products.  Suddenly, instead of us making her brush her hair, she locks herself in her room to spend 30 minutes getting ready.  And the mood swings.  Lord, the mood swings.  I have no idea if this is normal. I remember 12 and 13 being difficult, but not 9. Some days, she is as logical and rational as an adult.  Some days, we have reverted to toddlerhood.  There are days when she is very responsible, helpful, and proactive in doing things for herself.  Other times she seems offended that we hadn't signed up to be her servants.  I love my child dearly, but I just never know which version of her will climb out of bed in the morning.  Maybe this will level out sooner than later.  In the meantime, we are taking the "encourage and praise approach" when she deserves it and firmly putting her back on track when she gets off, usually with a lot of drama on her part.   I do love the glimpses of progress I see, whether it be in the conversations she begins (yesterday was questions about Civil Rights in the 1880s vs 1930s vs now) or her volunteering to do some job to help me out.   We will certainly need wisdom as we help her grow into what is hopefully a compassionate, wise and Godly girl.

 Happy Birthday, Missy B.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Adventure Girl Exploring



  Spring Break should be fun in the sun, perhaps on a beach with an umbrella drink.  At least for other people than the Ruckers it might be.  Last year I think I spent spring break moving dirt and manure into my raised beds  and the year before we went to my grandparents.  This year we were ready for some adventure.  We haven't had much in the way of adventure since Jack hurt his leg almost a year and a half ago, but he is much stronger now and the limp is lessening.  We have a rather big trip planned in May so we need to start getting back into shape as far as long walks and hikes go.  Since Jack had to work this week and since we girls haven't really explored the northwestern part of the state, we joined Jack in Alva.  He did have to work, but his schedule allowed him some time every day to go adventuring. 
 The first day did not bode well.  Bella started off all right, but as soon as she found out that the Gloss Mountains were part of a state park, she was angry and pouty.  Apparently she wanted true groundbreaking adventure, the sort where no one had ever gone before.  She just couldn't grasp that all the state wonders were already discovered and made into parks.  

'  Bella, fueled by indignation, made it to the top of the mesa long before we did.  Once to the top, she forgot about being angry.  There were rocks to chuck off the top, geocaches to be found on the top and down the sides, fissures to poke into . . . enough to keep a kid happy, and there was no one there but us.  One of the fun moments was discovering that between the time we got to the park and the time we were ready to come down, an enterprising young romantic had hauled in rocks to spell out a prom invitation that could only be read from the top of the mesa.  As we were descending, he was rock climbing with his young lady friend, headed to the top.  He got style points in our book.


We had expected drizzle that day and were not at all bothered that the drizzle never happened.  Going down that mesa would have been slick work.  We still had some afternoon available and Jack and I wanted to let Bella have a taste of less tame exploring.  East of Alva, there is a canyon that runs across private land.  In the side of the canyon are caves, including a fairly large one.  Faulkner Cave has recently been opened to the public, but it isn't "tame."  There is a rough map available online, but basically, one climbs a fence and treks across a pasture toward what is obviously a canyon.  There are flags marking the path once close to the cave, but we found those on the way out rather than on the way in.  Bella forged ahead and found a path down to the creek in the bottom.  Since there was quite a bit of water still, we had to go along the side of the canyon wall until we got lucky and found the cave.  It was no where as grand or huge as Alabaster Caverns, but it there was no hand rail, no walkway. Just craggy rocks, darkness. spider webs. and what appeared to be a giant rat nest of sticks and grass.  We had flashlights, but no rubber boots.  Bell didn't mind wet feet so she forged into the cave as far we could still see her.  Not counting the side tunnels, the cave was probably close to the size of my kitchen.  The entire canyon just begged to be inspected - there were logs fallen across the creek, mysterious looking algae, and I am sure if it had been warmer, snakes.  We would have stayed longer, but could suddenly smell smoke - there were wild fires a few miles away, but we know how fast they can move so felt we needed to call it a day while we were safe.
The next day was Alabaster Caverns and rain and cold and more rain and cold.  The Caverns were amazing - I am not sure if Bell enjoyed the sleeping bats or the cave more, but it was a successful day.  Apparently Faulkner had fed her desire for the untrampled wild and she was ready to appreciate what someone else had found.

It was not a glamorous few days.  Jack has a five gallon hot water tank so I don't even think I successfully shaved my legs while there.  That is okay since sleeping in a little camper trailer with an 8 year old four feet away is not conducive to romance of any sort.  There was the rain and the cold.  That said, it was a well spent few days.  Seeing Jack and Bell climb up and down all those rocks, watching him show her how to separate the layers of crystals into glass like sheets, just being with the two of them so filled my heart with contentment.  I always appreciate his patience with Bella and his willingness to share wonders with her.  He is not a "go play and leave me alone" dad.  Instead he is the man who wrestles with her at night, helps her fill my car with rocks during the day, and then holds my hand  while he drives us across the river towards home.  I can live with a few non glamorous vacation days if it is with a man like that.









Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Can You Hear the Rrrrrr?

I seem to be in a bit of a mental fog these days with just enough brain power to make it through the day but not enough left over to even read at night, though I did just start Chris Bojalian's Sandcastle Girls.  It is spring break, that brief week that renews us teachers enough to gird up and make it through spring testing.  Though I am counting the days till summer break, something huge is going on at home.

When Bella was little, she was diagnosed with Apraxia of speech/language.  We were told that she might never read or write and would maybe only be competent at verbal communication.  I know that Jack is not exactly academically driven, but to me the word "competent" was devastating.  You have all met my child and know that she does indeed talk and read and write and is more than just competent, thanks to hundreds and hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars of therapy with a pathologist named Robin Emerson.  I am not sure I have ever been as thankful for a non-family member as I am for Mrs. Emerson and her work with Bell.

Even when we switched to just using the school provided therapist at Comanche instead of the the one at the hospital, we were still making progress with all those tricky sounds.  When we moved here, most of our progress just stopped.  We gained a little because I still made Bell practice at home, but last spring I was so disheartened.  Her therapist actually said that maybe it was time for to quit, that she just was not going to get the R, CH, and SH.    We still had another therapist, but I begged the special ed director for the new one that was being hired.

And this is where God steps in.  In September, Bella started working with Miss Jessica and the first day came home home saying the SH more clearly than I have ever heard before. It was so  sudden and surprising, that I actually turned around while driving when it came our of Bell's mouth.  Then came the CH.  The  initial R followed.  Progress indeed.  However, though Bell could make these sounds in single words, she often did not consistently use them in a conversation, so we were doing a fair amount of practice (unwillingly on Bella's part) at home. And the vocalic R (think girl or far) was almost non-existent.  About two months ago, Bella suddenly started self-monitoring her speech and began talking slowly and almost over enunciating to get in the SH and CH.  Two weeks later she added the initial R.  Now she is pretty fluid with everything but the vocalic R, though it is progressing nicely.  The other sounds still sound a bit exaggerated, but every day they get a bit smoother, a bit more natural, as does the R.  Words like world are tricky, and sometimes it is still hard to distinguish between girl and gull, but they get clearer every day.  Only about once a day do I have to make Bella repeat a word.

Last week, we had our annual IEP meeting (meetings to plan the education for learning disability students).  I was dreading it.  On paper, Bella has gone from 51 % accuracy with R (September score) to 93% (February score).  Those sorts of numbers (paired with good grades and a crazy big vocabulary and high reading level) suggested that she no longer needed therapy, but they are somewhat misleading because they only reflect single words and not conversational speech.  We also were going to lose our therapist and be sent to one with a reputation for being ineffective.  But we still have God's hand in this.  We compromised at going to one day a week instead of two and Miss Jessica will continue to work with Bell next year.  The hope is that if she continues to self monitor and progress as much as she has since Christmas, after next year, she can quit therapy.

I have no idea why Bella started working so hard to speak clearly.  I know she was teased a lot at school and many kids thought she was from a foreign country.  I just don't what switch finally flipped, but one did.  I am not sure why God sent Miss Jessica to Elgin.  I am sure her role here is bigger than than making sure we are the Ruckers and not the Wuckers.  I do know this.   Every time she speaks, every time she tells me a story right now, I smile as I hear Bella clearly and confidently make those sounds I had only three months ago despaired of ever hearing.  I wish you could hear her.  It is just amazing and I am so thankful.

I am thankful for her progress, but it also reminds me of work that needed done in my own life, some things in my spiritual life that I was neglecting.  Watching her has reminded me of the gifts we are given if we are faithful to do our part.  I listen to Bella talk and see God behind her progress but I know I was supposed to learn something too.

We are getting ready to go see Jack today for a day or two of hiking the Gloss Mountains ( probably in the rain) and maybe exploring the Alabaster caverns if they reopen after yesterday's wild fires there.  It is spring break.  And we have the R.  There is so much to be thankful for this bright morning that my heart is full.

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Snow Day

It would be so easy to be discouraged with winter, the gray, the cold that seeps into my bones and settles there. I suppose I am really just a spring and summer girl at heart for I won't be any happier in August when the heat has sucked the life out of me.

In truth, we haven't missed much school for bad weather - today, yesterday, and perhaps one other day. Most of the snow and ice has come in on weekends keeping me from church. The worst was missing Misti and Mark's wedding. I am not a big wedding goer - it requires in general too much mingling, socializing, and politeness than I typically have in me. But this was important - Misti finding her soul mate was worth wearing a dress for, was worth going to lend our voices in joyous celebration. We were looking forward to seeing some of the old Davis hall crowd as well. Our crowd has become scattered to the winds. We have lost a few - just thinking of Chris and John make a few tears come to my eyes but also smile in memory. We have all grown enough to know that the world a rough, tough place. We are wise enough to know that happiness must be seized and gaurded and treasured. We want the best for each other and Misti has found the best. That is something to celebrate.

As much as we wanted to go, I think when I crept home Friday afternoon, my car was the last car to go up our road until things began to thaw on Sunday. We were snowed in. I am thankful that though we missed the Pryor to McClellan extravaganza, that we were warm and safe and well fed. During one snow event last year, our well went out and we had to live with Rubilee for over a week. Another snow event involved Harold waiting until we were snowed in to decide he needed to go the ER, and the EMT's had to carry Harold up the hill since they couldn't get the ambulance down the hill to the house. Yet another winter storm led to Jack having to drive Harold in to the ER over icy roads at night. None of that has happened this year. Yes, I am tired of draining water lines every time I water the berries and fruit trees. I am tired of trecking through the cold to the well house with laundry. However, if I missed the wedding, I did so with a husband who cooked supper and made creme brulee for me. Bella and I sledded down everything from Rubilee's driveway to the backside of hte lake dam.  That might have been a bit too fast for me.  Either way, I was home with the ones I love and that is worth a good deal.

For the moment, I am thankful for the brilliant streaks of sunlight that lit up the eastern rim of the lake this morning. We are one week and one day away from Spring Break. We don't have big plans, but it will mean that spring is right around the corner. I have almost 200 baby plants under grow lights that will be ready to move to the greenhouse as soon as Jack gets it up. I didn't plant a single garden vegetable - since I am doing a raised bed, the 12 tomato and pepper plants I have to buy won't break the bank, but I spent an embarrising amount of money on bedding plants last year so am trying to grow my own this year. 200 sounds like a lot, but I am sure not all will make it. I could have happily planted another 200. I know. Plant addiction.

The most stressful time of the year is coming up at school - End of Instruction tests are looming. The AP exam is right around the corner. The EOI is a from a new vendor this year, and for the first time a portion of my yearly eval will be determined by test scores for a test that students are not required to pass. Stress indeed.

But not today. Today, I will clean a little house. I will finish the last half of AP essay grading. When the snow melts, I will go get Rubilee's paper for her and have my daily chat/check in with the in-laws. For the moment, I am sitting in the sunshine with good coffee, a girl scout cookie, baby plants in view, and a child who is glad for a stay home day.