Really, Actually Seven

Seven is so very far from zero . . . And so not far at all.

A  bit before 8 o'clock yesterday morning, seven years ago, our Bitty Girl made her grand arrival, amidst much crying and snotting and more crying on our part.

It had been a short and easy nine months once I was sure Jack was okay with the whole idea.  Initially, I thought he would be angry . . . He had always said he didn't need children.  I remember sitting down on the opposite end of the couch, almost in tears, afraid he would be depressed or mad once he heard my news.  In reality, he didn't stop smiling about it for days.  He spent nine months talking to my belly and promising it's tenant the love 10 children would need.

Once she arrived, the time went even faster.  There were rough spots.  There still are.  There were days when we considered running away to join the circus for an hour or two.  But it has been so rich.  I had no idea what parenthood would do to us, but I like it.  It is a good fit for us.  I get so very tired sometimes; she is a very high strung little thing.  I worry still about her speech and her troubles with school.  I don't remember anything being hard until I met Algebra.  It is still rich though.  Playing with bugs.  Making cookies.  Finding a snake in my car after someone accidentally let one go.  Playing Santa and tooth fairy.  Snuggling up for our bedtime story every night.  Every single night.

One of the best parts has been watching Jack be a dad.  It gave me a whole new side of him to love.  I certainly didn't know that his being a parent and a spouse would be sexier than his just being a spouse.

This year in particular has been about learning new things and growing up a little.  New house.  New school.  Reading real books on her own, not just those "see spot run" books.  Losing pets.  Getting pets.    It has been her first big year of change.

So . . . seven.  It is so very big.  So independent and opinionated. So fragile still.  So vulnerable still.

 She was counting down the days until her birthday, hoping for a puppy, a book, a video game, something magical.  There wasn't a puppy, but there were new books, some small cool things , and the much longed video game and a peach tree.  There was cake and grandmas and a grandpa and Auntie Rachel. There was even a piñata.

There was a tired little girl, who crashing from anticipation and excitement and probably too much sugar, cried when she heard the Glass House at Vinita might be destroyed, who tossed and turned forever before surrendering to sleep.

At the end of the day, all I could ask for was that we be given the grace and wisdom needed to raise a godly young woman who walks in truth and light, health, mercy, and many years of this bliss of being her parents.

Get set . . . Go!

At 5, Bell decided it was time to get up, even though she didn't conk out until nearly 10 last night.  Jack made her get in our bed and go back to sleep, but she woke the animals up who then all wanted out.  She argued, wanting to get up.  There  was just too much talking. Too much.  I tried to slip back into blissful oblivion, but gave up at 5:20.

So 6 AM finds me showered, watching the news, on my second cup of  coffee, reading email . . .all those morning things I do.

I guess it is time to fire  off this week.  I know I said we just had one hard month left.  But it is going to be a really long month.  I have an essay a week planned plus three days of review a week.  That is going to mean 4 essays in four weeks for all my kids.  There may be mutiny in room 25.  Last weekend Jack met a kd from Elgin and mentioned that I taught there.  The kid (who is not one of mine) said, " oh, the mean one! "

I have a lot to do for me too.  I left a packet of info about AP workshops on my desk that I need to figure out today.  The class I sponsor is so far from where it needs to be financially that it is embarrassing.  I need to get some things going with that.  I need to beg for a few more copies of Gatsby for next year.

At home, I think we are going to try to get raised beds built.  I have got to get back on the workout routine.  Lets just say that my Grandma's cooking was really good last week.  There is always plenty to do here.

And there is a birthday at our house this week.  Bitty Girl thinks there should be a chocolate -chocolate cake showing up so I need to see about that.  Not quite ready for her to be this old.

But this week is here,  so let's go.  Get started.  Have a productive week . . . and for all you school types out there, just breathe.

Home Again

There is always something bittersweet about leaving Bluejacket.  I know that eventually there will be no more trips.  This just breaks my heart to think about and I have to resist the urge to look over my shoulder as we round the curve past the farm.

It was a good trip though.  Misti gave me a great haircut when we passed through the city, and we still managed to make our destination by early afternoon.  The first day was really our only good weather day, so we took the opportunity to take Bell down to the creek.  She wanted to build a fire so Grandpa let us burn off some brush that had been piling up during the spring rains.  We took a trip back to Jenks and explored the Oklahoma Aquarium.  If you have the chance to go, be sure to time it so you get to see the otters and beaver being fed.  I think Jack and I enjoyed the day as much as Bell even though it was her birthday trip.  There were calves being born every day.  One was to a wild cow and the cowboy cousin and his buddies spent two days chasing the cow all over the country trying to reunite it with its calf.  Bell was fascinated with the process of getting that baby to nurse after the cow had finally been captured.  There were fires in the fireplace every night with marshmallow roasting.  Hay pyramids had to be climbed in  the big barn and wood was cut on the creek bottom.  It was just a good trip.  Not too busy, but not too slow.  We are already hoping time and jobs and circumstances allow a trip back in a month or two.   Jack and Bell are plotting  a camp out on the creek.


We came home to plenty of work.  I brought home a sack each of vinca vine shoots and hollyhocks that I need to get in the ground this morning.  Huxley is filthy and gets a bath this morning if he can be caught.  Some small blond thing has a birthday next week and I haven't bought anything yet.  There is no food in this house beyond frozen chicken so a trip to town is in the works for this afternoon.  Sometime this weekend, I need to give the plants in the greenhouse bigger pots.  Spring break is all but gone.  That part I hate.  I really want a week of warm weather here to air out the house  and spring clean.

On the other hand, I am also ready to get this last hard month of school over with.  I have an essay a week planned for my kids. Review for the state tests will take up the rest of our time.  One hard month and then we can relax a little in May.  Maybe we can work in some fun things then.

In the meantime, I still have a few days off.

Countdown

Yesterday in the hall at school, the science teacher told me just how many hours it was until spring break.  I hadn't counted, but I was ready.   All I could think of was how much needed done before we were ready to head north.

Jack spent his week doing all the big things - servicing the car, getting a cat door situated in the outbuildings so they could get in to eat without Huxley.  He will get fed too, just not cat food.  Laundry.

Today, as we packed, I for the first time ever, put my clothes in a bag with Jack's.  This may sound silly, but I have never had to share luggage space.  I tend to over pack.  I am a girl - I like things like razors and extra earrings and one more pair of shoes.  This is a problem if you only get half the bag.  This was Jack's idea and I went along with it.  It didn't help that we were dealing with rain and shine and a 20 degree spread in daytime temps.  Turns out, I can manage this.  If I wedge a few things in Bell's bag too . . . with a magic kit, next to her stuffed cat and Uno deck, after removing a cardboard box and a Japanese fan.

This time tomorrow, we will be tucking in up there.  No Internet.  No closet full of toys.  Just family.

If you are on break, enjoy it.

Just One More Week

It is one week until Spring Break.  I am unbelievably ready.  We had a pretty lazy weekend, but I am ready for days and days of just us time.

Our plans are pretty modest, but I am almost giddy with excitement.  We are going to head to the northeast part of the state to spend a few days visiting my grandparents.   We haven't been as a family since the fall of 2010.  It seeems like so often during the times of the year we could go up, they are down at Loco visiting my family.  Bell needs to store up memories while she can - they are in their early 80's and in poor health.  The number of future visits are not infinite.

Until after I married Jack, every break, every holiday was spent there on the farm.  As a little bitty thing, I lived with them for a few months while my parents were sorting out jobs after college.  I lived with them again during my first year of college.  Their house and farm hold far more memories for me than my folks place that was purchased after I was grown. This is where I learned to shoot, to drive, to properly roast a marshmallow.

On the way, we have a few stops planned including a haircut with Misti and then the  big aquarium at Jenks.  This for Bell's birthday.  She opted for a trip and family party instead of a class party.  (Thank goodness.  I have no idea what to do with hordes of small children. ) Bell wants to start packing now.  She is as excited as I am.

I am hoping we have good weather when we come home and I can get some garden started.  Maybe light off the chiminea.  Cook outside. Have a few slow days before the last big push of school starts.

Tonight is an easy night.  I have bread and a spinach artichoke dip in the oven.  Some olives and fruit and wine will round out a living room picnic.  One easy night and then one crazy week before family time.

Lets Have Chyawklit

It has been a grim fall and winter in so many ways.  Jack has struggled to find a job that allows him to keep some sort of family life intact, for both us and his parents.  It seems that Jack, Bell and Harold have taken turns being sick.  School has been as much battle as success.  I swear, I had no idea spelling would be this hard for Bell.  We have a had few behavior issues.  I think I have finally adjusted to a new school, now that we are a few months away from the end.  I feel like overall I am doing a good job, but I am really fretting about the kids' upcoming state tests and the transition to the new state standards.  I just looked at a year plan for the new expectations and it was overwhelming to think about getting that much writing and lit done in only a year.  To top it off, things around the farm have stalled - still have construction inside waiting and outdoor projects are in limbo.  And if I haven't griped and moaned enough, have I mentioned that I cannot sleep?

It just seems like it has been such a struggle in so many ways.  Everything.  Every week.

But it really hasn't.  I know we are tired and weary from just life.  But, really,  I know it isn't all a struggle.  Not all of it.

Those baby plants in the greenhouse must love the attention Jack Dear gives them because they are flourishing.  Tomatoes and peppers and flowers are promising abundance.

Despite my weariness with work and Jack's frustration with work, we are personally in a good place, that sort of place where we are easy with each other and enjoy the bits of time we do have.   We can still laugh.  We can still say, "listen to this," as we read a profound passage.   My kid thinks we are still mushy.

Overall, we are in a good place as parents.  Despite some meltdowns and struggles with school, Bell is so much fun.  Real fun.  I swear watching her can  be a magic elixir for what ails me.

And the school thing is getting better.

Actually, this week, school is the bright spot.  Yesterday, I finally met her speech therapist ( don't worry - Jack had met with her this year and they grew up together ) and had Bell's IEP meeting.  Many of you know Bell's story and her struggle to talk when she was a wee bitty girl.  I remember being so scared that all that creativity and all those words and ideas would forever be zipped up tight, far away in her head.  We have come so far.  SO FAR.  She does not lack for words and often needs to hush a bit and just listen to the workings of life around her.  Her articulation is still a little awkward.  Chocolate is her new favorite word to say.  It has left being koklit to being chyawklit.  Oh, that ch gets drawn out, but it is there and is a little clearer every time.  Her therapist felt like those remaining elusive sounds would come.  We might not doomed to be the Wucka family forever.  The R does exist, along with sh, th, j, and l.  We aren't there yet and braces will help in a few years, but the feeling is that we WILL get there eventually.  I went into the meeting fearing that they would dismiss her from the program since she has made so progress and there are never enough hours in a therapist's day to see all the kids they need to see.  It is fine.  Therapy will continue.  Progress will keep happening.

One and a half weeks till spring break.  Little one's birthday a few weeks later.  Lots to look forward to and dwell on instead of the less than perfect moments.