I slept until 7 this morning. I don't think that has happened since the morning after I got stitches. Sleep is a powerful drug. I went to bed feeling overwhelmed with the sheer mountain of things that needed to be done today. I woke up with the mountain waiting, but without the dread. Such a difference..
Rubilee commented last night that at least I could kick back and relax this weekend. My reply was that I brought home 20 hours of work and had plenty of big jobs around the place to do. I was serious when I said twenty hours. I have several assignments and projects I need to build from scratch plus papers to grade and get into the computer. I keep having other great ideas of things I want to try, but just don't have the time to get them off the ground.
Sleep, though, as I said is a powerful thing. I woke up with some strategies clicking together in my brain. The first one was to have a bit of me time with coffee and the iPad. I had thought to sit on the back porch, but a zipper spider has been building this cotton-candy sticky web out there and I just don't have the heart to take my chair from her. Those webs are just so pretty with dew drops catching the sunlight. I don't want to bump it and make them shatter into nothingness.
I will have to power up quickly though. I need to fetch a kitten from a tree where a bad cat has her treed. It should be noted that said kitten is only outside in the tree because she jumps on my head n the night. The garden hasn't been watered for a few days and is parched. It is a typical Saturday chore list.
Perhaps Jack will be home tomorrow to help, but he will likely be sleeping if he is home. He officially went back to work Thursday evening and has been on one job site since then. His crew has been power washing Frac trucks and sleeping in the truck when they can. He called last night and sounded pretty tired. His bad leg is not used to lugging around a steel toed boot. He said he was sore, but it was just muscle sore from having lost so much muscle tone when he was down.
The past week has brought huge amounts of progress. 10 days ago he couldn't wear a shoe or sleep in a bed. Now he can do both and go to work too. He still limps and goes slowly at things, but he GOES. He has been to church and even Walmart. Again, such a difference from the man who couldn't move with shrieking 6 weeks ago.
So many people have prayed for us. Jack's bosses held his job for him and have been patient. Harold's handy man has kept my yard from going wild. So the weekend has such a big list of to - do's that I probably won't make a dent in them, but I am thankful to have a husband who can go to work. I am thankful for a garden to work in. I am just thankful for the blessings that have come our way, even that pretty spider to watch this morning.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Sunshine at Last
Things seem to be looking up at our house this week. Never mind that I am pinching pennies to stretch this month's pay check to cover an extra few weeks and a ton of doctor bills. I am a little stressed, but not worrying about it that much.
Jack has been moving around a lot this week - not every day and I know he had one bad day, but a definite upswing in mood and activity. Yesterday he got a little feeling in his toes for the first time in over a month. He still can't feel most of his foot, but every day seems a bit improved.
Here is the best news: he had a consultation with a physical therapist today who thinks he surely doesn't need surgery. He thought he probably needs to see see Jack a couple of times a week for the next few weeks to help Jack regain his strength and teach those nerves to work again. He did say that Jack may be looking at a very long time before he had 100% feeling back, but Jack thinks he might be able to go back to work in a week or two. The main thing is for Jack to not re-injure the disc and nerve while he is healing.
I have cried and prayed and begged God that he help us and Jack. I know we aren't out of the woods yet. Jack still has to manage sleeping in bed and wearing a shoe and standing all day, but I feel that mercy and healing is happening. I am so very thankful.
Lesson to you all: if you hurt your back and have nerve damage, ICE,ICE, ICE. And avoid the chiropractor. Jack used heat for a few days while I was at that AP conference, and between the chiropractor and heat did more damage. Hindsight.
I feel like I am in a little more of a controlled chaos mode now rather than full blown, monkeys swinging from the chandelier chaos. The dismissal bell rang today with me having not a single paper to grade. (I will have a new stack tomorrow, so it is a short lived victory). My classes seemed to learn a lot this week. My AP class is joy - just a burst of enthusiasm and fun and smarts floating through my room mid-morning.
At home, Harold's handyman came to mow my jungle. Turns out there was a driveway lurking in there. I got the tomatoes and pumpkins fertilized and have held the army bugs at bay once again. I even managed to feed my family well this week, or at least the non-picky, picky members.
Tomorrow is happy Friday. I am thinking Cindy is right. It will be Thankful Friday at this house.
Jack has been moving around a lot this week - not every day and I know he had one bad day, but a definite upswing in mood and activity. Yesterday he got a little feeling in his toes for the first time in over a month. He still can't feel most of his foot, but every day seems a bit improved.
Here is the best news: he had a consultation with a physical therapist today who thinks he surely doesn't need surgery. He thought he probably needs to see see Jack a couple of times a week for the next few weeks to help Jack regain his strength and teach those nerves to work again. He did say that Jack may be looking at a very long time before he had 100% feeling back, but Jack thinks he might be able to go back to work in a week or two. The main thing is for Jack to not re-injure the disc and nerve while he is healing.
I have cried and prayed and begged God that he help us and Jack. I know we aren't out of the woods yet. Jack still has to manage sleeping in bed and wearing a shoe and standing all day, but I feel that mercy and healing is happening. I am so very thankful.
Lesson to you all: if you hurt your back and have nerve damage, ICE,ICE, ICE. And avoid the chiropractor. Jack used heat for a few days while I was at that AP conference, and between the chiropractor and heat did more damage. Hindsight.
I feel like I am in a little more of a controlled chaos mode now rather than full blown, monkeys swinging from the chandelier chaos. The dismissal bell rang today with me having not a single paper to grade. (I will have a new stack tomorrow, so it is a short lived victory). My classes seemed to learn a lot this week. My AP class is joy - just a burst of enthusiasm and fun and smarts floating through my room mid-morning.
At home, Harold's handyman came to mow my jungle. Turns out there was a driveway lurking in there. I got the tomatoes and pumpkins fertilized and have held the army bugs at bay once again. I even managed to feed my family well this week, or at least the non-picky, picky members.
Tomorrow is happy Friday. I am thinking Cindy is right. It will be Thankful Friday at this house.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Hey, Teach
First day. Those are loaded words. Excitement. Dread. Chaos. Fear. Noise. Stress.
So much depends on the first day - the kids have impressions to make on their peers and teachers, but we have impressions to make too. We have to lay down the law and get our bluff in, but we also have to make it clear that we are there to teach and help, not just dictate and talk at them.
Today was a good first day, so much better than the tidal wave that swept me away last year. It just sucks to be the new kid. All those new faces and policies and procedures. This year felt good. I could greet kids by name as we began the morning. I was excited to see my compatriots.
I must have scared a few kids at least - there were drops to sign by the time I finished telling them how much their brains would hurt if they stayed in AP. Did you catch that? Yep, I am so excited about this AP Lang and Comp class. A bit intimidated, but jazzed just the same.
Other kids warmed my heart when they just confidently nodded when I assured them that we would cover a 30 page chapter on rhetoric tomorrow.
Two seniors even volunteered to be my aides. One of them lectured my juniors on how much he hated my class last year until he figured out (thanks to his ACT score) that he learned more in my room than anywhere else last year. He pretty much painted me as the wicked witch of English that they would grow to love. I don't have to have their approval, but I do need them to believe in me and buy what I am selling; however, I won't complain about being liked.
I hope all our new teachers had a good beginning. I remember how hard that was last year. I don't think I realized how hard it was until today went so well. Bella's day went well too. When asked about her teacher, she told someone in my building that her teacher was beautiful, much more than last year's teacher. (For the record, Bell and I both really liked last year's teacher, though she was more the Grandma type as opposed to the 20 something fresh out of college teacher for this year.)
So, the first day. It is the beginning of our season of business, late nights grading, grouchy mornings, hurried coffee, homework,. Good to be an Owl.
So much depends on the first day - the kids have impressions to make on their peers and teachers, but we have impressions to make too. We have to lay down the law and get our bluff in, but we also have to make it clear that we are there to teach and help, not just dictate and talk at them.
Today was a good first day, so much better than the tidal wave that swept me away last year. It just sucks to be the new kid. All those new faces and policies and procedures. This year felt good. I could greet kids by name as we began the morning. I was excited to see my compatriots.
I must have scared a few kids at least - there were drops to sign by the time I finished telling them how much their brains would hurt if they stayed in AP. Did you catch that? Yep, I am so excited about this AP Lang and Comp class. A bit intimidated, but jazzed just the same.
Other kids warmed my heart when they just confidently nodded when I assured them that we would cover a 30 page chapter on rhetoric tomorrow.
Two seniors even volunteered to be my aides. One of them lectured my juniors on how much he hated my class last year until he figured out (thanks to his ACT score) that he learned more in my room than anywhere else last year. He pretty much painted me as the wicked witch of English that they would grow to love. I don't have to have their approval, but I do need them to believe in me and buy what I am selling; however, I won't complain about being liked.
I hope all our new teachers had a good beginning. I remember how hard that was last year. I don't think I realized how hard it was until today went so well. Bella's day went well too. When asked about her teacher, she told someone in my building that her teacher was beautiful, much more than last year's teacher. (For the record, Bell and I both really liked last year's teacher, though she was more the Grandma type as opposed to the 20 something fresh out of college teacher for this year.)
So, the first day. It is the beginning of our season of business, late nights grading, grouchy mornings, hurried coffee, homework,. Good to be an Owl.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
These Women Who Make Me Laugh
Things are still pretty blegh here. Jack had his MRI and the doc wants him to see a surgeon. We are waiting for them to call with an appointment. Limbo. Never ending limbo in which Jack still can't feel his leg and sleeps in the recliner and his level of crabbiness signals the amount of pain he is in.
But things aren't all blegh, largely to the circle of women I have come to love here. These women are strong, smart, and funny . . . And they let me be one of the cool kids with them.
Last week one of the ringleaders organized a wine and canvas night at an art studio/store in Lawton. Over the summer we have lounged by the pool, went for dinner, had movie nights - we always have a good time what ever it is. We talk and laugh. We talk about the serious and the ludicrous. Nothing is taboo. Perhaps the conversation is about someone's grandma with Alzheimer's . . . or maybe it is about quiche. Doesn't matter. The good and the bad, it's all there.
This time was different - not only did we have the therapy of laughter and fellowship, but we had art. The more we painted our crazy, beautiful owls, the quieter we got, drawn into the swirls of color on our canvases. We had a little wine, a bit of fruit and cheese, some laughter . . . And something new. We saw a creativity in ourselves that was refreshing. I think we needed that therapy of laughter blended with quiet creativity. We are beginning another 9 months of hard work and that night was a boost.
These women. I am sure we don't all see eye to eye on religion or politics, but we have a common ground. There is respect and admiration in my heart. I watch them raise children and love their husbands, teach their hearts out, walk in their faith, live gracefully through serious trials. They know how to be women.
But things aren't all blegh, largely to the circle of women I have come to love here. These women are strong, smart, and funny . . . And they let me be one of the cool kids with them.
Last week one of the ringleaders organized a wine and canvas night at an art studio/store in Lawton. Over the summer we have lounged by the pool, went for dinner, had movie nights - we always have a good time what ever it is. We talk and laugh. We talk about the serious and the ludicrous. Nothing is taboo. Perhaps the conversation is about someone's grandma with Alzheimer's . . . or maybe it is about quiche. Doesn't matter. The good and the bad, it's all there.
This time was different - not only did we have the therapy of laughter and fellowship, but we had art. The more we painted our crazy, beautiful owls, the quieter we got, drawn into the swirls of color on our canvases. We had a little wine, a bit of fruit and cheese, some laughter . . . And something new. We saw a creativity in ourselves that was refreshing. I think we needed that therapy of laughter blended with quiet creativity. We are beginning another 9 months of hard work and that night was a boost.
These women. I am sure we don't all see eye to eye on religion or politics, but we have a common ground. There is respect and admiration in my heart. I watch them raise children and love their husbands, teach their hearts out, walk in their faith, live gracefully through serious trials. They know how to be women.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Updates
I haven't been on Facebook much or even blogged lately because we are just stuck in limbo.
Yes, depression is becoming a real tangible thing in this house as we end week 4 of Jack not being well.
Last time I wrote here, Jack was scheduled to have an MRI which never happened. Turns out it was one of the closed tube-like MRI machines and he just got too panicky. They at least gave my money back. It has been over a week since then and Jack is no longer in any real pain. His back aches, though it has off and on for the past year with bouts of sleeping in the recliner for the past several years. Even though the pain has subsided, he still can't feel his foot and lower leg. Some feeling has returned to parts of his hip and upper leg, but no driving yet. He can't stand more than a few minutes.
He has finally decided that Monday he will call and see if he can reschedule the MRI at a different facility that has an open machine . . . And get a prescription for some sort of happy drug that will keep him from going nuts again. He still doesn't think there is anything anyone can do for him, though he would do physical therapy if it would help. He mostly wants to rule out any thing worse than a pinched nerve or herniated disc lurking there. Even the idea that there could be something scary lurking . . .
In the meantime, we just seem to exist in this holding pattern. Jack gets up as often as he can just to try to move, but he can't do anything. I hold down the fort here and make sure things are okay up the hill at Rubilee's. My friend Suzanne intervened last week and took Bell for a day and a night. Bless her heart. My father -in-law sent his hired guy down to mow. I am past the 9 day mark when I should have gotten my stitches out, but my leg is finally starting to close up and it finally doesn't hurt much to walk so maybe next week I will get those stitches out. Bell and I got our school shopping done and we will get her enrolled for second grade this week. I am in a battle with squash bugs over who will the pumpkin patch. Progress is slowly being made for my AP class preparations.
I know many of you have been, but keep praying that Jack have healing. He is improving, but is so painfully slow and he is needed. We need him well and his boss does too. Jack needs himself well.
Yes, depression is becoming a real tangible thing in this house as we end week 4 of Jack not being well.
Last time I wrote here, Jack was scheduled to have an MRI which never happened. Turns out it was one of the closed tube-like MRI machines and he just got too panicky. They at least gave my money back. It has been over a week since then and Jack is no longer in any real pain. His back aches, though it has off and on for the past year with bouts of sleeping in the recliner for the past several years. Even though the pain has subsided, he still can't feel his foot and lower leg. Some feeling has returned to parts of his hip and upper leg, but no driving yet. He can't stand more than a few minutes.
He has finally decided that Monday he will call and see if he can reschedule the MRI at a different facility that has an open machine . . . And get a prescription for some sort of happy drug that will keep him from going nuts again. He still doesn't think there is anything anyone can do for him, though he would do physical therapy if it would help. He mostly wants to rule out any thing worse than a pinched nerve or herniated disc lurking there. Even the idea that there could be something scary lurking . . .
In the meantime, we just seem to exist in this holding pattern. Jack gets up as often as he can just to try to move, but he can't do anything. I hold down the fort here and make sure things are okay up the hill at Rubilee's. My friend Suzanne intervened last week and took Bell for a day and a night. Bless her heart. My father -in-law sent his hired guy down to mow. I am past the 9 day mark when I should have gotten my stitches out, but my leg is finally starting to close up and it finally doesn't hurt much to walk so maybe next week I will get those stitches out. Bell and I got our school shopping done and we will get her enrolled for second grade this week. I am in a battle with squash bugs over who will the pumpkin patch. Progress is slowly being made for my AP class preparations.
I know many of you have been, but keep praying that Jack have healing. He is improving, but is so painfully slow and he is needed. We need him well and his boss does too. Jack needs himself well.
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