I just realized I have not posted anything here in almost two weeks. I have been out of sorts. My body has gone strike and is refusing to remotely behave and that just makes me feel blah. I am going to have some blood work done next week to see about it all.
In the past week and a half, Jack Dear did indeed come home and afte 5 days of working on it, did get our water well going again. About the time we came home, he went back to Alva. Staying at Jack 's parents for a whole was week was a weird mix of stress and luxury. I fretted about Bell getting on their nerves and about our water woes. I fretted about a lost debit card (issue now resolved). I just fretted not being at home. It was also the week of making semester tests and trying to cajole and plead and threaten my few problem children into passing my class by just turning something in. It was luxury to have a washer and dryer inside the house but not in the kitchen that was big with more counter space than I used. The magic tub. The fireplace.
I just feel like I have been going through the motions for two weeks. There were some fabulous moments with my family and at girls night, but mostly I have been disconnected. My mind whirls with ideas and questions and frustrations, but each day felt unplugged.
Today was better and it was all due to the last three minutes of the drive to work. Two months ago, a staff member mentioned that a particular kid always looked guilty, shifty eyed as if he was up to something. I didn't know the kid other than by sight, but I had certainly never seen him do anything bad or rude, but hey, what did I know? Maybe that staff member had some insight that I didn't have. Today, the young man was walking his little brother and sister to school. When I drove past them, the boy was hanging on tight to his little brother's hand. The younger child looked 5 or 6 and was just little enough to still not watch for cars. The little boy's steps were smaller and the older boy shortened his steps to match. When they got to the parking lot, he didn't go his own way or drop the smaller child's hand. I could the little boy chattering and the bigger brother nod his head, listening. I don't know this boy or who he is, but it so warmed my heart to see a big high school kid being that sensitive to what was probably a pesky sibling. I caught the young man later this morning walking down the hall. I asked if he always walked his brother and sister to school. He nodded, not sure where I was going with the question. I patted him on the shoulder and simply said "you are a good big brother" to which his face lit up and he nodded a quick appreciation. I asked around and found out that other teachers said he is a really nice kid. Maybe he will be in my class next year.
Something about that moment of little boy and big boy together made me teary eyed and thankful that I get to be with these kids, get to know them, maybe learn a little while I teach a little. It more than made up for the day before when I was this close to yelling at a kid, this close to telling a kid he was wasting my time and the oxygen in the room, for actually saying "If you want to fail my class this badly, go ahead because I can't make you pass and I am finished trying." The boy walking to school didn't particularly look like he was having fun, but he looked like he was patiently doing something he knew must be done. That patience and gentleness and goodness emanating from him was such an example to me.
I finished the day with a learning disability student making the highest grade on the final. It was so nice to be able to say this kid who struggles so much, who often doesn't get it the first or even second time, "man, you did a fabulous job." What it also says is that my other kids didn't study enough., which is a different rant. If anyone deserved to have the highest grade, it was this boy who studied the most and tried his hardest. I like that work sometimes pays off more than just sheer smarts. I like to be able to send home an email bragging on a kid who doesn't get bragged on much.
Friday is the last day before break. I have a smidge of stocking shopping left to do. Family time coming up. Jack will be home next week. I am ready for a break, but I am really thankful for this day.
Friday, December 20, 2013
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Cozy and Thankful for the Family That Came With Marriage
It is amazing how much differenc water, a warm house, and some sleep make.
We made the move up to Rubilee's mid morning yesterday, pushing our stuff in a wheelbarrow through the snow. A 7 year old thinks she should pack her own bag (which has an equal amount of stuffed animals and good choices like a book and a board game), a mom packs toiletries, clothes, the pillow and blanket ( to which the kid has a Linus like attachment), supplemental groceries, briefcase full tests and AP a Research papers, a sled, and craft stuff and games ( to keep kid busy when she discovers that stuffed animals have a limited entertainment value.). Yes, we unglamorously trudged up with a wheelbarrow.
It was a good day. Rubilee and Harold have very different internal thermostats so it was a very toasty day, the kind where I wear my thinnest pants and a tee shirt while the heat is set on 76. That's totally okay. We played in the snow a little, we made cookies and biscotti, we had baths in the magic tub ( it has jets) and Bell was going to sleep in the magic bed ( hide-a-bed) though she ended up in my bed.
My in laws have a big house with living quarters and bedrooms on both floors so we were able to spread out. When they wanted family time, we all were upstairs, but when they needed a break, they went downstairs where they mostly live when we aren't here. When they went to bed, I cracked a window for a bit over my bed and turned the heat down a twitch. I made sure I reset it when I got up.
I am still stressed about our water situation. I hate to think of having to dig up the sidewalk to replace the line that will surely break while we are shut down. I hate to think of Jack driving home Monday and having to come here instead of home, possibly for most of his stay at home because if the pipes break, it will not be a quick fix. On the other hand, I am really thankful for this warm house with its magic tub and wide spaces.
But here is the thing. I know so many people who dread going to their in-laws, who see their spouse's family as something to be endured. I am so lucky, so blessed to get to share Jack's family. His parents are kind and seem to genuinely like us being here (they may be ready for a break come Monday). They are gracious and hospitable, but are also past treating us like company. Rubilee has finally in the last year let me help in the kitchen. Harold feels free to tease me. But they do the big things like open their home as easily as they do the small things. Yesterday, Harold went in the truck and went up and down my driveway making a path so I could get my car out if I have to. I always cringe when I hear other people talk about in-laws as if they are something to be endured. I know my dad's parents see my mom as the daughter they didn't have, so maybe I just a good example of what this extended family thing should be. Or maybe I am just blessed.
We made the move up to Rubilee's mid morning yesterday, pushing our stuff in a wheelbarrow through the snow. A 7 year old thinks she should pack her own bag (which has an equal amount of stuffed animals and good choices like a book and a board game), a mom packs toiletries, clothes, the pillow and blanket ( to which the kid has a Linus like attachment), supplemental groceries, briefcase full tests and AP a Research papers, a sled, and craft stuff and games ( to keep kid busy when she discovers that stuffed animals have a limited entertainment value.). Yes, we unglamorously trudged up with a wheelbarrow.
It was a good day. Rubilee and Harold have very different internal thermostats so it was a very toasty day, the kind where I wear my thinnest pants and a tee shirt while the heat is set on 76. That's totally okay. We played in the snow a little, we made cookies and biscotti, we had baths in the magic tub ( it has jets) and Bell was going to sleep in the magic bed ( hide-a-bed) though she ended up in my bed.
My in laws have a big house with living quarters and bedrooms on both floors so we were able to spread out. When they wanted family time, we all were upstairs, but when they needed a break, they went downstairs where they mostly live when we aren't here. When they went to bed, I cracked a window for a bit over my bed and turned the heat down a twitch. I made sure I reset it when I got up.
I am still stressed about our water situation. I hate to think of having to dig up the sidewalk to replace the line that will surely break while we are shut down. I hate to think of Jack driving home Monday and having to come here instead of home, possibly for most of his stay at home because if the pipes break, it will not be a quick fix. On the other hand, I am really thankful for this warm house with its magic tub and wide spaces.
But here is the thing. I know so many people who dread going to their in-laws, who see their spouse's family as something to be endured. I am so lucky, so blessed to get to share Jack's family. His parents are kind and seem to genuinely like us being here (they may be ready for a break come Monday). They are gracious and hospitable, but are also past treating us like company. Rubilee has finally in the last year let me help in the kitchen. Harold feels free to tease me. But they do the big things like open their home as easily as they do the small things. Yesterday, Harold went in the truck and went up and down my driveway making a path so I could get my car out if I have to. I always cringe when I hear other people talk about in-laws as if they are something to be endured. I know my dad's parents see my mom as the daughter they didn't have, so maybe I just a good example of what this extended family thing should be. Or maybe I am just blessed.
Friday, December 6, 2013
Cold. Just damn cold.
I have been awake since 2 for the most part. Partly the old bursitis and sciatica in my hip kept me up, but I think I just fretted a lot.
I wish I could be one of those calm, serene people who took things in stride and never got ruffled, but I am not. I obsess and I fret. I grind my teeth, stay awake all night and get fever blisters.
Yesterday, the sleet started in Elgin around 11 and the snow mixed with sleet had begun in ear test by noon. It was 2 before I got my classes covered and got out of there. The drive home was tense, but okay. Getting up our hill to the house was a different matter. Right inside the gate, the car started slipping. I debated leaving it there, but I would have spent the next 4 days worried that it would slide down in the road or that something would happen to it. So with a little salt and cat litter and a shovel and 45 minutes, I got up the hill and under the carport. With only a little salt, I kept having to move the car five feet and then scoop up the salt and move it too.
I gave in and fed the stray dog, but he had to make do with sleeping on the cat bed in the shed. Poor cats are not happy, but I just can't let a stray in. And don't say call animal control. Where I live animal control consists of a shotgun and a ditch. Harsh, but true. I got some laundry done in anticipation of losing power and water, got some chicken soup going for Bella, and then noticed the water was surging.
Of course Jack has been in Alva for the both the last snow storm and this one, so I got to crouch down under the pressure tank with a phone and pull this lever and watch that gauge and flip that switch while Jack tried to diagnose my problem. Last night he thought we had a broken waterline between the well and the house, causing the pump to constantly kick on. Rather than burn up the pump overnight and then have to pull it out of the well, we opted for shutting the water off. I can turn it on for a few minutes to refill toilets and water jugs, but that is it. No dripping to protect my water line. This morning Jack thinks it must be something wrong in a control switch, but once again, this is not something I can fix. In the meantime, if we didn't have a broken pipe before, we probably will by the time Jack comes home next week.
In the meantime, the house is cold. During last winter, during the last snow storm, we stayed warm, but the furnace ran all night and it is 64 in here.
I really despise venting in this space. But I am just so tired and frustrated. I imagine we will go to Rubilee's for the day, maybe for the duration. I can walk down and heat up water for the barn cats and the stray. I have several cooking pots of water drawn up for emergencies so there is enough water for drinking by humans and animals. I don't know - maybe we will walk back and sleep in my bed at night. Maybe. Maybe. Not sure I will keep the kid entertained at someone else's house for days on end. For certain, we won't be going farther than that walk to her house.
Jack is in a mood too, frustrated that there isn't anything he can do to help. He says we just move to town and live in a condo. A condo where pipes can still freeze, where the power can still go out, where the neighbors' dogs bark and the idiot next door plays his music too loud. Yeah, that really isn't an option for me. This too will pass. We will get the water fixed, though it may take a few days depending on how much damage Jack finds when he gets home. We can stay with my in-laws in the meantime.
I wish I could be one of those calm, serene people who took things in stride and never got ruffled, but I am not. I obsess and I fret. I grind my teeth, stay awake all night and get fever blisters.
Yesterday, the sleet started in Elgin around 11 and the snow mixed with sleet had begun in ear test by noon. It was 2 before I got my classes covered and got out of there. The drive home was tense, but okay. Getting up our hill to the house was a different matter. Right inside the gate, the car started slipping. I debated leaving it there, but I would have spent the next 4 days worried that it would slide down in the road or that something would happen to it. So with a little salt and cat litter and a shovel and 45 minutes, I got up the hill and under the carport. With only a little salt, I kept having to move the car five feet and then scoop up the salt and move it too.
I gave in and fed the stray dog, but he had to make do with sleeping on the cat bed in the shed. Poor cats are not happy, but I just can't let a stray in. And don't say call animal control. Where I live animal control consists of a shotgun and a ditch. Harsh, but true. I got some laundry done in anticipation of losing power and water, got some chicken soup going for Bella, and then noticed the water was surging.
Of course Jack has been in Alva for the both the last snow storm and this one, so I got to crouch down under the pressure tank with a phone and pull this lever and watch that gauge and flip that switch while Jack tried to diagnose my problem. Last night he thought we had a broken waterline between the well and the house, causing the pump to constantly kick on. Rather than burn up the pump overnight and then have to pull it out of the well, we opted for shutting the water off. I can turn it on for a few minutes to refill toilets and water jugs, but that is it. No dripping to protect my water line. This morning Jack thinks it must be something wrong in a control switch, but once again, this is not something I can fix. In the meantime, if we didn't have a broken pipe before, we probably will by the time Jack comes home next week.
In the meantime, the house is cold. During last winter, during the last snow storm, we stayed warm, but the furnace ran all night and it is 64 in here.
I really despise venting in this space. But I am just so tired and frustrated. I imagine we will go to Rubilee's for the day, maybe for the duration. I can walk down and heat up water for the barn cats and the stray. I have several cooking pots of water drawn up for emergencies so there is enough water for drinking by humans and animals. I don't know - maybe we will walk back and sleep in my bed at night. Maybe. Maybe. Not sure I will keep the kid entertained at someone else's house for days on end. For certain, we won't be going farther than that walk to her house.
Jack is in a mood too, frustrated that there isn't anything he can do to help. He says we just move to town and live in a condo. A condo where pipes can still freeze, where the power can still go out, where the neighbors' dogs bark and the idiot next door plays his music too loud. Yeah, that really isn't an option for me. This too will pass. We will get the water fixed, though it may take a few days depending on how much damage Jack finds when he gets home. We can stay with my in-laws in the meantime.
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