Back in January, I bought my self a Fitbit. I had bought one for Jack for Christmas and liked his so much that I felt the need for one as well. At first, I just tried to keep my step count up. Then in mid February, I joined Weight Watchers online. I had gained a few pounds a year each year for the past four years and hit a point that just wasn't acceptable to me. I had really gained a lot in the past year when I quit exercising because of the shoulder trouble I had. It was a wake up call, as if those clothes that I couldn't wear weren't calling loudly enough already. I know that the nearly 41 year old me does not have the energy, stamina, and metabolism to manage the goal weight I managed at 31, so I set some realistic goals. I am fine with not being thin, but I do need to be healthy. And I need to be able to fit in my clothes. My immediate/ necessary goal was twelve pounds, with loftier amounts set as secondary goals.
So anyway, all spring I worked at getting a little more exercise and eating better. Jack put up our old Bowflex that had been in storage. I started walking on the road, trying to work in a few minutes of jogging during each mile. I did well until the last month of school and lost about six pounds. Things got hectic, there were going away dinners and banquets, and just too much stress and not enough me. I gained back some of my progress but swore that as soon as school was out, I would get serious about getting fit.
I will be honest - the first week that school was out, I did little more than sit in the recliner and read. I just felt mentally wiped out, but since then I have made up for it. I made it a point to wog (walk and jog) two miles a day and lift every other day. I kept track of my WW points. I bumped up to three miles a day. Jack and I went to Red Coyote and got better running shoes and started the Couch to 5k training. (Let me just say that it was easy until week 4, which just sucked yesterday. ) There were plateaus, and I swear this whole thing has been so much "one step forward, two steps back" followed by a few steps forward all at once. Today, I finally hit the 12 pound down mark after six months. When I was 32, that only took six weeks, not six months. It is a sobering reminder of age, and I am sure I am due for another step back.
What really worries me is managing to keep this loss up or at least sustain it once school starts. My routine has been to wake up around 5:30, and as soon as it is light enough to see the road, I am warming up. Then on lift days, I manage to lift before the well house (where the Bowflex lives) gets hot. I have been up by at least 6:00 every day but Sunday the entire summer. Sunday is the day off. It is just too hot later in the day. When school starts, I have to walk out the door at 7:30 in the morning, which means waiting for daylight and getting in a few miles every morning and still getting presentable afterwards will be impossible. Each day, it gets light a little later. Factor in a shower and hair wash and making sure the kid is ready and fed. Ugh. I suppose I will have to shift to evening runs, but until October, it will still be stifling until after dark.
I think this encroachment into my time of getting healthy is what I dread most about school. Despite Jack's lack of job and the accompanying money worries, it has not been a bad summer. I run, I garden, I pick berries, I have canned summer bounty. I have snuck in afternoon naps with my husband, I have read and read and read, I have snuck in morning naps with my husband, I have worn only the amount of clothes I wanted to wear and not makeup at all. We have actually worked pretty hard, with gardens and for the in-laws and on a bedroom remodel for Bell. There have been lots of days when I worked until I made myself ill and couldn't take another step. And all of these things were part of physical health and mental health. Each choice fulfilled a different need in me. Working hard and running hard and living in a pajama shirt have all felt like really healthy choices. It was my choice to get up before the sun came up and lace up those shoes and run. Yes, my sides heaved and muscles and lungs complained. And yes, I relished the quiet of a solitary run that let me listen and learn what a scissor tail's voice sounded like. Yes, I liked doing something just for me. I am simply not ready to give up the summer of run.
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