I have not been home alone for more than one night at a time in over 8 years. I can only think of once or twice that I was alone for a night, and then Bell and Jack were usually just down by the water camping under the big oak.
When Jack and I were first married, he worked away from home during the week and was only home on the weekends. I had the week to myself to indulge in whatever I wished, whether it was reading or eating foods he didn't like or watching his not so favorite shows. Then Bell came along. Since then, even if Jack is gone, I have had Bell . . . For eight years. Until now.
The super dedicated teachers I work with put together a grant and arranged a vertical alignment team for this year ( for you non teachery friends, that means that 7th through 12 grade strategizes what is taught so that each year builds on the next with no gaps but also no unnecessary repetitions ). We spent the entire week in meetings with an AP rep and on our own, hammering out what each grade would do and how we would do it. It isn't finished, but we got much accomplished. Of course, this also means that the last week of summer break was, in fact, a work week for me. It was also a work week for Jack, so Bella was farmed out for the week and neither will be home for a few more days.
Now, keep in mind that my dearest works away, far away, during the week. The kiddo was gone. This meant that after meetings each day, I was left to my own devices. Those devices were pretty tame. There was girls' wine and canvas night, but other than that, there were suppers of sliced tomatoes or simply a glass of wine. There was reading books until midnight. There was a TV that didn't get turned on a single time. There were workouts at times of day of my choosing, rather than working them around everyone else's schedule. My kitchen table stayed cluttered with the detritus of each day. It took multiple mornings of coffee to have enough dishes to justify a sink of soapy water.
I will say that I did do laundry and did pick and water the garden. Yesterday, I did some deep cleaning and I have a bit moe to do today, but mostly this week has been about quiet. I had forgotten that I used to read for hours on end. I did not know that even now, with a good book, I can still read for six hours straight. It has shot my sleep cycle all to pieces. I haven't gone to bed before 11 and to sleep before 1 a single night. Unfortunately, I have managed to sleep as late as 6:45 only once, the rest of the week being wide eyed by 5:15. That is almost criminal. Sleep is a precious commodity and I so wanted to just sleep in these last few days. I wish my broken sleep button would be mended. No kid also means that my in-laws got really spoiled. Since there was no one to tend to at my house, they got much more of my time than they normally do. I enjoy my time with them, but I simply can't be up there as much as they want when someone at home needs guidance with homework or a meal cooked or a bedtime story.
I was dreading this week, both for the vertical alignment and for being without both Bell and Jack for that long. I thought I might get lonely. I did miss them, but we talked or facetimed every night, and I knew it was a finite amount of time. I did worry about them, Bell particularly, but once again, she was in good hands for the week, and it was only a week. I had thought I might get some projects done while they were gone, but that didn't happen either. I might have gotten lonely if I had been home all day, every day, instead of working, but I had just enough to keep me busy. Instead of being lonely and needing to fill that down time with a busy project, I just basked in not having responsibilities for the week. That is not to say I behaved irresponsibly. It just means that I was allowed to simply be. Just be. That was all.
I am thinking that perhaps every school year should start with a few days of quiet for me. When school starts, as it will Monday, I am suddenly pulled in too many directions, meeting the needs of too many people, juggling too many personalities, losing myself a tad in the shuffle. Turns out this week was a bit of a gift that I didn't know I even needed.
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